Guinea Dog

Guinea Dog — page 3 — Contents 1 I wanted a dog 1 2 It was orangish-brown pudgy and had a spiky white mohawk 8 3 I was dreaming I had a rottweiler 15 4 My best friend's dog was perfection 25 5 No way are those ducks poisonous 31 6 School flew by that day just to make me mad 41 7 I heard the howling a block away 48 8 Fido was in my tree house 55 9 How does a whole pet store disappear 62 10 Eeeee I squealed when I opened my backpack 69

Guinea Dog — page 4 — 11 Here's why you should never keep a rodent in your backpack at school all day 76 12 Recess is a joke 83 13 I wasn't as nervous to go home that day 91 14 I guess I forgot to zip it up again 101 15 I wasn't really thinking about where I was going 109 16 Dinner conversation that night was even weirder than usual 119 17 I was tired of living in that freak house 131 18 I had no idea guinea pigs could run so fast 144 19 If I made the laws Mom would have been arrested 151 20 I didn't break my ankle 162 21 Every kid dreams of getting crutches 173

Guinea Dog — page 5 — 1 I wanted a dog I didn't see anything wrong with that People all over the world had dogs My best friend had one So did my worst friend A lot of people had more than one Our next door neighbors had two The family down the street had three People like dogs Why Because dogs rock They learn tricks They play games like Fetch and Tug of War and Frisbee They hang out with you They run alongside your bike They sleep at the foot of your bed They protect you and your family from intruders Some dogs even save people's lives Who wouldn't want one Dad Dogs are filthy and smelly Rufus Dad said yesterday when I asked him for the

Guinea Dog — page 6 — jillionth time why I couldn't have a dog Are you capable of keeping a dog free of grime and stench Do you have that skill set You can't even remember to put your dirty clothes in the hamper I have to do it Then he shuddered Smelliness is only one of Dad's reasons why I can't ever have a dog His list is endless They whine They gnaw They scratch They bark They beg They jump up They dig They shed They slobber They drool They lick people's faces They lick themselves They lick other dogs They piddle everywhere and that includes indoors They poop everywhere including indoors

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