We can make time I said It won’t take long She must have known by my tone that I was serious because she agreed and we drove to The Chop Shop at the mall My hands were trembling a little bit the way they did when I practiced pitching and lost track of time But some days you just know something The Chop Shop was one of those cheapo hair places but it had special seats for kids red race cars for boys and a splashy pink for girls Hi Cassandra said Elena She had been cutting my hair since I was three There is a photo in our family album of me having my first real haircut with her She’s dabbing my nose with a big brush that sweeps away the hair and I am laughing This day though I was not laughing I sat down in one of the regular black chairs for adults before she could ask which kids seat I wanted Just here for a trim she asked taking out the elastic band from my braid She raked her fingers through my long brown hair The salon smelled of the citrus shampoo I usually enjoy having lathered into my hair But there was no time for that I remember thinking This is it No I said I’d like to cut it all off 2 JENNY MANZER
Oh she said Short and sassy Like short hair don’t care she asked glancing at my mom in the mirror Short hair don’t care was what all the celebrities tweeted when they chopped off their hair Even I knew that My mom held her purse in front of her chest She looked as if she were preparing to be hit by a wild pitch I do care I want it short I said and crossed my arms I was already wearing my baseball uniform Red and white Number 3 my lucky number Okay you’re the boss I’ll just take a few inches off to start in case you change your mind said Elena I heard the scissors slowly close over a chunk of my hair and the first piece fell to the floor Elena started working faster then whistling under her breath her fingers deft with the scissors Still good asked Elena stopping to look at me in the mirror She smiled She had round cheeks with lots of pink rouge and shiny red-blond hair that she sometimes wore curly and sometimes wore flat as if she’d ironed it I’d always liked Elena She often wanted details about my latest baseball game Keep cutting please I said 3 MY LIFE AS A DIAMOND
My mom’s eyes got bigger as more and more of my hair covered the floor tiles The growing pile reminded me of the grass trimmings left behind after my parents cut the lawn Cassie are you sure Elena asked Mrs Cadman is this okay I was so sure I was like Mike Trout soaring up in the outfield to make one of those amazing airborne catches and stop a home run It was time to do something Take a jump I guess I’d never thought about the other player the one denied the run The one who shuffles back to the dugout The one who is disappointed because they imagined it would turn out differently I hadn’t thought about my mom Well it’s her hair said my mom in a tiny voice like she couldn’t get enough air When Elena was done I ran my hand over my hair It was cut to just below my ears but not buzzed or spiky so it felt smooth and cool I ran my fingers along the bare skin on the back of my neck My head felt light and free My mom picked up a piece of my hair from the salon floor and tucked it into her purse Our eyes met in the mirror but we didn’t say anything She went over to the counter where Elena was ringing up the 4 JENNY MANZER
cost of the haircut Elena was singing along under her breath to the pop music piped in cheerful as ever like it was no big deal that I’d just had all my hair shorn off Lots of ball players wear their hair long flowing down past their helmets A few have bald or shaved heads like Albert Pujols or Adrián Beltré But they all have their own style Now I had mine In the car on the way to practice I knew I had something else to say Mom I said I’d like you to call me Caz like my baseball nickname Cassie this has gone far enough You’re my daughter and I named you Cassandra Your friends can call you Caz but I’ll call you Cassie Cassie is a girl’s name Mom I don’t want a girl’s name My mom darted into a spot at the ballpark crookedly her hands gripping the steering wheel She cranked up the parking brake Cassie you are a girl She stared at me looking confused as if fog were steaming a window between us and she couldn’t quite see me My mom has soft brown eyes and shoulder-length hair the same shade as mine She wears one little swipe of lipstick and that’s it 5 MY LIFE AS A DIAMOND
