For my sister Patricia Kathryn Manzer 1967 2017 beloved aunt and dedicated reader And for all the kids like Caz who are brave enough to be their true selves See you at the ballpark
It all started with a haircut A week before my tenth birthday I came from home from school and told my mom I wanted my hair to be cut like now My hair suddenly felt like this heavy weighted thing not right on my head at all I always wore it in a single braid and it kept thump-thumping me on the back when I ran like someone tapping me on the shoulder You have baseball practice my mom said I always had baseball practice I was on two base ball teams one for regular kids and the other for players who were really good I don’t mean to brag but it’s the truth Even when I was five years old I could throw a ball almost to the end of our street 1
We can make time I said It won’t take long She must have known by my tone that I was serious because she agreed and we drove to The Chop Shop at the mall My hands were trembling a little bit the way they did when I practiced pitching and lost track of time But some days you just know something The Chop Shop was one of those cheapo hair places but it had special seats for kids red race cars for boys and a splashy pink for girls Hi Cassandra said Elena She had been cutting my hair since I was three There is a photo in our family album of me having my first real haircut with her She’s dabbing my nose with a big brush that sweeps away the hair and I am laughing This day though I was not laughing I sat down in one of the regular black chairs for adults before she could ask which kids seat I wanted Just here for a trim she asked taking out the elastic band from my braid She raked her fingers through my long brown hair The salon smelled of the citrus shampoo I usually enjoy having lathered into my hair But there was no time for that I remember thinking This is it No I said I’d like to cut it all off 2 JENNY MANZER
Oh she said Short and sassy Like short hair don’t care she asked glancing at my mom in the mirror Short hair don’t care was what all the celebrities tweeted when they chopped off their hair Even I knew that My mom held her purse in front of her chest She looked as if she were preparing to be hit by a wild pitch I do care I want it short I said and crossed my arms I was already wearing my baseball uniform Red and white Number 3 my lucky number Okay you’re the boss I’ll just take a few inches off to start in case you change your mind said Elena I heard the scissors slowly close over a chunk of my hair and the first piece fell to the floor Elena started working faster then whistling under her breath her fingers deft with the scissors Still good asked Elena stopping to look at me in the mirror She smiled She had round cheeks with lots of pink rouge and shiny red-blond hair that she sometimes wore curly and sometimes wore flat as if she’d ironed it I’d always liked Elena She often wanted details about my latest baseball game Keep cutting please I said 3 MY LIFE AS A DIAMOND
