SECTION I Introduction This is the semi-off icial report of The Qwikpick Adventure Society’s Expedition to F ind the Rat with the Human Face One reason it’s only semi-off icial is because Lyle me has had to write it himself without Marilla and Dave The reason why Marilla and Dave couldn’t help is what this report is all about Well it’s also about the Rat with the Human Face of course Hopefully after it’s all typed up I will be able to give Marilla and Dave a copy and see if they approve That will have to be totally top secret of course since The Qwikpick Adventure Society has been off icially banned We’re not even allo wed to meet at the Qwikpick the convenience store where my parents work and Marilla Dave and me used to hang out Dave had to do the drawings in secret and Marilla had to secretly give 2
me the card from her digital camera to take to Walgreens to get the pictures printed out So the report is semi-off icial because off icially there is no Qwikpick Adventure Society All because of the Rat with the Human Face Frankly I almost wish I had never heard of the Rat with the Human Face He or she has caused nothing but trouble But then again maybe it was worth it since not many people ever get to see a Rat with a Human Face not even in a zoo It’s hard to decide When I look back at the off icial report of our f irst trip see The Off icial Report of The Qwikpick Adventure Society’s Trip to See the Fountain of Poop I know that was one of the best days of all time This rat trip was a little more complicated There’s some stuff that was good and some stuff that was the worst But I’m going to write it all up anyway just to make sure that all the facts are put down and the real story is told 3
And of course the reason it is typed on a typewriter is that I STILL DON’T HAVE A COMPUTER But I do have this typewriter which I got for Christmas and which I’ve set up in the break room at the Qwikpick which is whe re my parents work and where we got the name for our club back before it was banned 4
UNOFFICIAL Personal Note Don’t worry Not everything is as bad as that sounds There’s actually something completely great but it can’t go in the semi off icial report Even in a semi-off icial and top secret report there are things that are too unoff icial and too top secret to put in This story has a lot of those things Dave and Marilla are my best friends but there’s no way I could tell them all the things that need to go into the full report So I’m adding these comments to my copy so that the whole truth is recorded even though I’m the only one who will ever read it Plus sometimes I just think of something I forgot to put in and I don’t want to have to retype a whole page just to add a sentence Basically what’s going on is that my best friends Dave and Marilla are not allowed to hang out with me anymore and Marilla’s parents actually want to move out of the Crab Creek Estates Trailer Park where we both live because of bad influences which basically means me I guess and maybe the guy in the 5
