And of course the reason it is typed on a typewriter is that I STILL DON’T HAVE A COMPUTER But I do have this typewriter which I got for Christmas and which I’ve set up in the break room at the Qwikpick which is whe re my parents work and where we got the name for our club back before it was banned 4
UNOFFICIAL Personal Note Don’t worry Not everything is as bad as that sounds There’s actually something completely great but it can’t go in the semi off icial report Even in a semi-off icial and top secret report there are things that are too unoff icial and too top secret to put in This story has a lot of those things Dave and Marilla are my best friends but there’s no way I could tell them all the things that need to go into the full report So I’m adding these comments to my copy so that the whole truth is recorded even though I’m the only one who will ever read it Plus sometimes I just think of something I forgot to put in and I don’t want to have to retype a whole page just to add a sentence Basically what’s going on is that my best friends Dave and Marilla are not allowed to hang out with me anymore and Marilla’s parents actually want to move out of the Crab Creek Estates Trailer Park where we both live because of bad influences which basically means me I guess and maybe the guy in the 5
trailer next to Marilla’s who plays loud music and has lots of ladies over But I think it mostly means me It’s crazy that they think I’m a bad kid I’m afraid of bad kids It was a bad kid who threw my calculator onto the roof of the school It was a bad kid who tore up my f ield trip permission slip so I almost didn’t get to go to Monticello And another one who got a worm while we were outside for PE then took it back to math class and cut it up and secretly flicked the pieces at people including the teacher My dad says that when you live in a trailer park some people will think you’re a bad kid real easily But I wouldn’t have thought that Marilla’s parents would look down on me for living in a trailer park because they live in the SAME TRAILER PARK AS ME But they’re only there because Marilla’s dad is real sick It’s not my fault that I live in a trailer It’s all because of what my parents owe on their credit cards is what my mom says How does that make me more of a bad kid than Dave 6
But Marilla is still allowed to eat lunch with Dave but not with me You call that fair Of course there’s a little more to it but I’ll get to that later Basically I’m just trying to say what’s wrong with living in a trailer Nothing Well there are a few things that aren’t so great about it but I mean there’s nothing wrong with a person who lives in a trailer Well anyway without Marilla and Dave my life is really really boring It was so much fun when they would hang out with me at the Qwikpick after school and now they’re not even allowed to come here at all So I’m either stuck here or at my trailer and I don’t have any other friends and everything is a total total disaster Except for one thing There’s one thing that’s so so good that it makes up for a lot of the lousy stuff And that is the other thing that this report is about and the main reason for writing secret notes that Marilla and Dave won’t see Because the really wonderful thing is about me and Marilla 7
