Angry Birds Stella: Dahlia and the Ultimate Invention
that he’ll always be thought of as the baby even when he’s grown-up because he’s the youngest He just made a loud raspberry noise and bounced off Trying to explain science science to such such feather-brains is really quite well trying at times But we can’t all be into the same stuff What a dull world it would be if we were In other words today is an excellent day for science Although every day is an excellent day for science when you have a Bird Intelligence Quotient BIQ of 199 and have won the All Island Prize for Spectacular Invention no less than five times Okay so the other contestants have mainly been the pigs and Willow with her weather-predicting flowerbed dry when it’s sunny and wet when it’s raining which while accurate isn’t actually predictive But as Stella pointed out not even the great inventoress Emilia Eggspert herself could have come up with something as ingenious as the Automatic 8
v i b very intelligent bird Gravy Pouring Drawer Sorter for all your tidying and condiment needs It is of course possible that her version might not have malfunctioned just minutes later and showered the crowd in savoury sauce-covered tubes of paint But then Emilia doesn’t have to deal with the sorry lack of equipment and resources I am faced with For example I suspect she never had to Willow’s art supplies were so utterly disorganized and unscientific and I am just not a fan of anything that’s unscientific 9
my pants boil water for experiments in a baked bean tin Or tie machine parts together with knicker elastic I mean what exactly is scientific about Handsome Pig’s pants Apart from the enormity and smell of them Is it any wonder my inventions have a habit of going just a little bit off-course too sexy for Take my Pig Putter-Offer with handy sunglass hook and cherryade storage system designed to scare the pigs away from digging in island beauty spots as well as meet your refreshment and sun avoidance needs on particularly balmy days Only the cherryade all leaked out the sunglass hook got caught on Stella’s tail feathers and 10
pulled several out in the process This resulted in high decibel squawking which would have been loud enough without the noise from the hidden horn which was so colossal that it blew the top off my observatory Willow was also mumbling that it upset her biorhythms which I have explained to her several times are not actually scientific but she says the unicorns believe in them and that’s all that matters to her And there really is nothing a scientist can say to that And the pigs Didn’t even blink thanks to the silver earmuffs Gale had made them wear in order to brighten up her view 11
