Ghastly McNastys: The Lost Treasure of Little Snoring
The McNasty twins were the nastiest pirates ever to have sailed the seven seas Everyone called them those nasty boys except their friends who called them Bob and Tim They didn't have any friends though only imaginary ones and even they refused to play with the twins and would only play with each other But they did have a second mate called Mrs Slime who was called Mrs Slime on account of her nose which ran a great deal She didn't like the McNasty twins much either but they paid her in boxes of tissues That was very useful because she had already used up both sleeves wiping her nose Tissue hill Slime puddle
Captain Gruesome and Captain Grisly were so ghastly and nasty that even the fish put their fingers over their eyes and swam in the opposite direction when they saw the twins coming in The Rotten Apple custard The twins were the meanest of the mean and horrible in every way The thing that Captain Gruesome McNasty liked best was making anyone he spied doing something nice or helpful walk the plank into shark infested seas Captain Grisly McNasty's favorite thing was eating cold lumpy mashed potato left over from last night's dinner He kept it hidden in his big bushy beard just in case he felt peckish and was more than 700 leagues from the nearest McNasty's a fast food chain run by distant relatives featuring those famous octopus burgers that taste of brussels sprouts with
BIG MACTOPUS doubloons McNasty's Eat it before it eats you STRAWBERRY Jellyfish But their absolute favorite thing was TREASURE Particularly treasure that didn't belong to them but that they could STEAL Every night straight after dinner they counted all their stolen treasure However much they had it was never enough to satisfy the greedy McNastys they always wanted more Now there were lots of things that the McNasty twins didn't like They didn't like brushing their teeth so they didn't brush them except on February 29 and they never ever made an appointment to see the dentist because all dentists terrified them They loathed boiled cabbage which they thought smelled like cats pee which it does however much your mom tries to tell you otherwise They hated doing long division which all pirates learn at Pirate School FANG PASTE Best before so that they can share out treasure because they 10 6 1956 didn't like math and they didn't like sharing They didn't like school and school didn't like them The McNasty twins had been expelled from Pirate School after the first week for cutting off all the girls braids with their cutlasses and holding the principal ransom in the art cupboard for 100 chocolate
The McNasty Twins' Holiday Album Before After Heh Heh
