Ghastly McNastys: The Lost Treasure of Little Snoring
BIG MACTOPUS doubloons McNasty's Eat it before it eats you STRAWBERRY Jellyfish But their absolute favorite thing was TREASURE Particularly treasure that didn't belong to them but that they could STEAL Every night straight after dinner they counted all their stolen treasure However much they had it was never enough to satisfy the greedy McNastys they always wanted more Now there were lots of things that the McNasty twins didn't like They didn't like brushing their teeth so they didn't brush them except on February 29 and they never ever made an appointment to see the dentist because all dentists terrified them They loathed boiled cabbage which they thought smelled like cats pee which it does however much your mom tries to tell you otherwise They hated doing long division which all pirates learn at Pirate School FANG PASTE Best before so that they can share out treasure because they 10 6 1956 didn't like math and they didn't like sharing They didn't like school and school didn't like them The McNasty twins had been expelled from Pirate School after the first week for cutting off all the girls braids with their cutlasses and holding the principal ransom in the art cupboard for 100 chocolate
But there was one thing that they hated more than all these things put together and that was the thought of anybody else finding treasure because they thought that all the treasure in the world should belong to them Captain Gruesome and Captain Grisly who had the Pirate Post delivered by carrier seagull every morning had long read of the rumors that Little Snoring was the site of buried pirate treasure But it had taken them months to locate the village because they had been kicked out of Pirate School before completing basic map reading which meant they often sailed their ship around in circles for days on end Their steering was so awful that on their way to Little Snoring The Rotten Apple had sailed right through the middle of a family of whales scattering them across the sea and bumping the enormous mother whale very hard on the nose The McNastys who had no manners at all didn't say sorry to the whale but sailed away laughing loudly Now at last they had reached their destination There could be no doubt that they had found the right place because when they peered through their telescopes they could see a sign on the harbor wall declared that
plop WELCOME LITTLE SNORING TO Excited by the prospect of being so close to treasure they pointed their telescopes again toward the picture book perfect village perched on the tip of the shore First they examined the turquoise blue harbor the pure white sands that sparkled like diamonds and the rolling green hills Then they looked at the lighthouse Since it had been built more than 100 years ago the lighthouse had prevented 345 ships and 32 rowing boats from being wrecked on the Jaws and ending up on the sandbanks The lighthouse was perched high on the hill behind the Big Scary Very Dark Dense Forest Where No One In Their Right Mind Would Want To Go which was a bit frightening so the twins stopped looking pretty quickly They turned their telescopes back to the little village with its pink and white houses the church with its tall spire and the school Sweaty socks said Captain Gruesome happily Squeaky underpants declared Captain Grisly excitedly They both laughed out loud with pleasure a sound so terrible that several gulls flying overhead fainted in terror and fell into the sea with a loud
