Ghastly McNastys: The Lost Treasure of Little Snoring
Fleas pieces Nits Spurs for tormenting sea horses Captain Gruesome got out his telescope stroked his mustache thoughtfully and considered the treacherous rocks that jutted out from the sandbanks and formed a semicircle not far from the harbor mouth of the small village on the island shore The village was called Little Snoring on Sea The rocks which rose from the sea like vicious teeth were known locally as the Jaws Interesting he mused and very useful If a ship hit those rocks it wouldn't stand a chance It would be smashed to
He looked delighted at the prospect And if another ship was waiting nearby it could go to the rescue of all the passengers and crew squawked Pegleg Polly the parrot Idiot bird snarled Captain Gruesome swiping his fist in Polly's direction and missing The waiting ship could snaffle any treasure that happened to be on board and leave the passengers and crew to their grisly fate on the sandbanks as the tide rises Nasty boys squawked Pegleg Polly flapping her wings and lifting off her perch just in time to avoid Captain Gruesome's again fist
The McNasty twins were the nastiest pirates ever to have sailed the seven seas Everyone called them those nasty boys except their friends who called them Bob and Tim They didn't have any friends though only imaginary ones and even they refused to play with the twins and would only play with each other But they did have a second mate called Mrs Slime who was called Mrs Slime on account of her nose which ran a great deal She didn't like the McNasty twins much either but they paid her in boxes of tissues That was very useful because she had already used up both sleeves wiping her nose Tissue hill Slime puddle
Captain Gruesome and Captain Grisly were so ghastly and nasty that even the fish put their fingers over their eyes and swam in the opposite direction when they saw the twins coming in The Rotten Apple custard The twins were the meanest of the mean and horrible in every way The thing that Captain Gruesome McNasty liked best was making anyone he spied doing something nice or helpful walk the plank into shark infested seas Captain Grisly McNasty's favorite thing was eating cold lumpy mashed potato left over from last night's dinner He kept it hidden in his big bushy beard just in case he felt peckish and was more than 700 leagues from the nearest McNasty's a fast food chain run by distant relatives featuring those famous octopus burgers that taste of brussels sprouts with
