The crowd goes wild They love their hero Gus Gus GUS I probably don’t need to tell you what my dream is do I But I guess they call them dreams for a reason Out of the way Gus Offense take the field
Ow Technically I’m a wide receiver But guess how many game catches I’ve had this season I’m gonna assume you guessed zero Well you’re right Turns out in real life I’m about as useful to the game of football as a fork is to a bowl of soup Go ahead guess I’ll wait I’ve got time sigh
Coach Hurley tried to find the best fit for me on the field Because of my size he thought I’d make a good offensive lineman But opposing defenses turned me into a welcome mat I tried my hand at running back But I was apparently allergic to the ball And I’d rather not talk about the day I tried to be the team’s kicker
Yeah Coach had no clue what position I should play But instead of cutting me from the team he kept me on the roster So I became a back-up wide receiver watching the game from the bench Oh no The water cooler Phew That was close and doing what I can to help the team
