Memoirs of a Sidekick

Memoirs of a Sidekick — page 5 — Nothing could be further from the truth Admittedly there have been a few incidents that have contributed to the Principal’s aversion to Boris’s company but back to the matter at hand Boris waved at the fountain for me to go first I don’t wanna sound like a whiner but things are messed up at Bendale How many indoor recesses are we gonna have It’s almost two or three a week We spend so much time in those classrooms I think my head’s gonna explode I’ve been at Bendale for almost seven years he continued and every year’s the same No running in the schoolyard we can’t play in the field if it rains or if there’s snow as if we’ll drown or freeze to death Other than Ms Crimpet who practically does everything herself and I guess Mr Hurley who does the school play the teachers don’t run any extracurriculars The teachers give us detentions all the time Nothing gets better I’m sick of it I let him have his turn at the fountain School is more a question of survival for me than it is for Boris Never having achieved what you would call popularity or made what you would call friends except for Boris I do not usually worry about those types of issues He was right though about all of it and especially about Ms Crimpet She helped with the Science Club the school play the Science Fair the volleyball team the Green Goblins Environmental Club the cross-country team the junior choir and I heard she was organizing the Kids for a Better Tomorrow Society That was about it for activities at Bendale It’s always been like this hasn’t it I asked Well it’s not the way it should be Why can’t Bendale change We have one more year here I don’t wanna waste it life’s too short We gotta do something he said I guess but what It wasn’t a particularly helpful question but it was all I could offer Boris took a final slurp Don’t know Adrian But something Nothing we’ve tried has worked Remember Operation Toy Drive or Operation Healthy Eats Both were excellent examples In sixth grade Boris tried to organize a toy drive at Christmas to help needy families We collected a straw two broken coffee mugs and a soccer ball with a hole in it But the low point might have been when Boris and I protested against the cafeteria’s selling fried food We

Memoirs of a Sidekick — page 6 — were pelted with french fries hot dogs and burgers We made our way back to the gym The door hadn’t closed completely Not everything is bad I said At least we won’t have to push the door open I have a tendency to be overly serious Boris has encouraged me to try to make the occasional humorous comment I’m not sure I hit the mark this time Boris raised his eyebrows and pursed his lips but I didn’t get the kind of reaction that typically follows any joke from Robert or Michael or anyone else We have to do something Boris muttered We can’t leave Bendale like this Boris was in full deep-thinking mode so I kept quiet and let him ponder and for the briefest of moments let myself believe that maybe just maybe Boris would figure out a solution Because if Boris Snodbuckle can’t solve a problem that problem can’t be solved

Memoirs of a Sidekick — page 7 — CHAPTER TWO Boris stopped abruptly as he reached for the door as if frozen in place by Jack Frost himself I bounced off his shoulder and before I could ask Boris put a finger to his lips When you’re prez we’re gonna run this school bro I heard Michael say I peered over Boris’s shoulder and through the crack in the door saw Robert and his crew huddled against the gym wall It’ll be so freakin sweet Robert said gleefully We’ll do whatever we want whenever we want Student council collects the money from the Fall Fair and the pizza lunches It’s going right into new phones and video games for us and we’re gonna be going to a lot of football and baseball and hockey games with that cash We’ll sit wherever we want in the lunchroom and the little brats will have to give us their desserts cause of our hard work Working hard eating their food Michael cackled And you know the room the aftercare program uses to store toys and equipment I’ll say the council needs it for meetings Robert continued It’ll be our private clubhouse And say goodbye to stupid assemblies I’ll invent a reason for us not to go and goodbye to those lame community activities the do-gooder losers try to get us to do like when that dweeb Snod Crunkle made us sort food at that food bank or when we had to plant new trees for the school’s playground Total waste of time Totally lame Michael said We should get Buckle Knuckle in trouble with the Principal He gets suspended again and no one will listen to him or his plans I’m sick of him getting in my way Remember last year when we had those kids doing our homework until he found out He was actually gonna turn us in unless we stopped Robert bristled Still don’t know what Buckle Knuckle meant about the Code and Rule Five and that he didn’t want to tattle but he had to if we kept bullying those kids Michael fumed When I’m president it’ll be all about us Robert declared I got it all

Memoirs of a Sidekick — page 8 — figured out He tilted his head and flashed his sparkling white teeth We got it made bro We’re gonna rule the school baby Who’s the king of getting what he wants Robert said We are Michael said throwing a fist in the air Well I am Robert said to him Yeah I meant that You and us a bit Michael said Getting elected will be easy All we gotta do is promise whatever people want Robert said So ask around and figure out what I need to say Even talk to the losers I’ll need their votes too Like even Snuckle Buckle Michael asked I’m not that desperate Robert said He and Michael high-fived as Wong Henson and Daniels laughed heartily Boris turned to meet my gaze I was in complete shock of the comatose variety Boris remained silent and still but his reaction came from steely-nerve determination Eyes slightly closed but firm sharp and alive his jaw set and fists clenched this was the B-Ster in full-focus mode He nodded to me and pushed the door open and walked into the gym I followed Hey Buckle Brain Robert said You’re on the other team You too Nickels Hurry up I need to throw a ball at your faces Yeah me too I gotta throw a ball at your faces Michael said Boris crossed his arms I hear you’re running for student council president he said to Robert Robert shrugged I wanted to wish you good luck Boris said extending a hand Check what I said earlier about being in shock This time my shock was like being hit by a bolt of lightning turned into ashes ground into powder fed into a blender and then washed down the kitchen drain Robert seemed surprised too Wide-eyed he accepted Boris’s hand Then the old Robert roared back into action When I’m president you can carry my backpack between classes He slapped his forehead I’m being stupid You’ll be too busy being lame and trying to help save some kitten from a tree Do you

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