Memoirs of a Sidekick

Memoirs of a Sidekick — page 3 — Buckle was popular in fifth grade only to be replaced by the most hated name of all Buckle Butt which became all the rage last year My hopes were dashed when Mr Grisham began laughing hyena-like for a very uncomfortable twenty seconds That’s a good one Buckle Mr Grisham said glancing at his phone Grab your water and get back here We don’t have a lot of time A lump formed in my throat and a distressing gurgling feeling made itself felt in the bottom of my stomach These were the first stages of dodgeball terror but I kept it to myself Boris had more important issues to deal with As you can imagine our classmates took Mr Grisham’s comments as an invitation to shower Boris with insults Inspiration struck Robert Pinsent at just the wrong time Let’s call him the Smell-Ster or maybe the Bore-Ster he said to great laughter Boris is Robert’s opposite Boris has deep dark black hair which he wears short and brushed to the side and is of medium height not short but shorter than the taller seventh graders Most remarkable are the Snodbuckle eyes alive intense wise taking everything in For reasons unclear to me however his kindness compassion charisma and intelligence have not made Boris a popular kid at Bendale That honor has fallen to Robert who sits at the top of the social pecking order He is taller than Boris a tremendous athlete and his long wavy blond hair and perfect white teeth are a stark contrast to Boris’s sharper features Perhaps Robert’s most irritating quality is his ability to get whatever he wants without working for it without knowing much about anything and with annoying consistency Robert recently declared his intention to run for president of the student council next month I don’t believe Robert cares about the school or his fellow students so the reasons for his declaration escape me I shudder to think of eighth grade with a person like him at the helm How about Lob-Ster or Loch Ness Dump-Ster said Michael Beverley my personal nemesis and lifelong foe He had been riding Robert’s coattails for years He’d recently decided to adopt the low-rider jean and baggy sweatshirt look to enhance his image as a tough kid and as usual he needed to add his two cents worth

Memoirs of a Sidekick — page 4

Memoirs of a Sidekick — page 5 — Nothing could be further from the truth Admittedly there have been a few incidents that have contributed to the Principal’s aversion to Boris’s company but back to the matter at hand Boris waved at the fountain for me to go first I don’t wanna sound like a whiner but things are messed up at Bendale How many indoor recesses are we gonna have It’s almost two or three a week We spend so much time in those classrooms I think my head’s gonna explode I’ve been at Bendale for almost seven years he continued and every year’s the same No running in the schoolyard we can’t play in the field if it rains or if there’s snow as if we’ll drown or freeze to death Other than Ms Crimpet who practically does everything herself and I guess Mr Hurley who does the school play the teachers don’t run any extracurriculars The teachers give us detentions all the time Nothing gets better I’m sick of it I let him have his turn at the fountain School is more a question of survival for me than it is for Boris Never having achieved what you would call popularity or made what you would call friends except for Boris I do not usually worry about those types of issues He was right though about all of it and especially about Ms Crimpet She helped with the Science Club the school play the Science Fair the volleyball team the Green Goblins Environmental Club the cross-country team the junior choir and I heard she was organizing the Kids for a Better Tomorrow Society That was about it for activities at Bendale It’s always been like this hasn’t it I asked Well it’s not the way it should be Why can’t Bendale change We have one more year here I don’t wanna waste it life’s too short We gotta do something he said I guess but what It wasn’t a particularly helpful question but it was all I could offer Boris took a final slurp Don’t know Adrian But something Nothing we’ve tried has worked Remember Operation Toy Drive or Operation Healthy Eats Both were excellent examples In sixth grade Boris tried to organize a toy drive at Christmas to help needy families We collected a straw two broken coffee mugs and a soccer ball with a hole in it But the low point might have been when Boris and I protested against the cafeteria’s selling fried food We

Memoirs of a Sidekick — page 6

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