Buckle was popular in fifth grade only to be replaced by the most hated name of all Buckle Butt which became all the rage last year My hopes were dashed when Mr Grisham began laughing hyena-like for a very uncomfortable twenty seconds That’s a good one Buckle Mr Grisham said glancing at his phone Grab your water and get back here We don’t have a lot of time A lump formed in my throat and a distressing gurgling feeling made itself felt in the bottom of my stomach These were the first stages of dodgeball terror but I kept it to myself Boris had more important issues to deal with As you can imagine our classmates took Mr Grisham’s comments as an invitation to shower Boris with insults Inspiration struck Robert Pinsent at just the wrong time Let’s call him the Smell-Ster or maybe the Bore-Ster he said to great laughter Boris is Robert’s opposite Boris has deep dark black hair which he wears short and brushed to the side and is of medium height not short but shorter than the taller seventh graders Most remarkable are the Snodbuckle eyes alive intense wise taking everything in For reasons unclear to me however his kindness compassion charisma and intelligence have not made Boris a popular kid at Bendale That honor has fallen to Robert who sits at the top of the social pecking order He is taller than Boris a tremendous athlete and his long wavy blond hair and perfect white teeth are a stark contrast to Boris’s sharper features Perhaps Robert’s most irritating quality is his ability to get whatever he wants without working for it without knowing much about anything and with annoying consistency Robert recently declared his intention to run for president of the student council next month I don’t believe Robert cares about the school or his fellow students so the reasons for his declaration escape me I shudder to think of eighth grade with a person like him at the helm How about Lob-Ster or Loch Ness Dump-Ster said Michael Beverley my personal nemesis and lifelong foe He had been riding Robert’s coattails for years He’d recently decided to adopt the low-rider jean and baggy sweatshirt look to enhance his image as a tough kid and as usual he needed to add his two cents worth
Mr Grisham’s grin threatened to split his face in two I really do need that water I whispered to Boris Boris’s shoulders slumped slightly Yeah me too We left the gym to the sound of laughter ringing off the walls Boris held the door open for me Do we have to play dodgeball every class he said Most of the games are like target practice I think Grisham likes to see Robert and his crew stomp us Robert’s crew also included Wong tall broad-chested always wearing a backward baseball cap and the fastest kid in school Henson a rather large muscular boy for his age as in twelfth-grade large who I suspected might already be shaving and Daniels the shortest of the group with wild red hair a face full of freckles and a venomous personality Together they were the best athletes in seventh grade and Mr Grisham often grouped them into one team And did you see those guys hogging the swings again at recess Boris continued The little kids couldn’t get near them They’ve totally taken them over almost every day Mr Hurley was on yard duty and I told him but he said he was too busy working on his musical I tried to talk to the Principal about it three times this week He keeps saying he’ll talk to me later I was hardly surprised Mr Hurley couldn’t help He was the head of the drama department and for most of the year he’d been working on what he told us was going to be the most revolutionary exciting fantastic magnificent play in the history of theater I believe the working title is Genghis Khan and Flipity-Dipity Rabbit The Musical The Principal’s inaction was more distressing Lately it’s been very difficult to make an appointment with him to discuss serious school matters Only last week he’d said Snodbuckle seventh grade is over in three months Then you just have to get through eighth grade and we’re done Let’s say goodbye at your graduation and leave it at that It’s impossible to know exactly when Boris and the Principal’s relationship went off the rails If pressed I’d say it began in second grade when Boris was in his circus phase and tried to ride down the main school stairs on his unicycle Boris never blamed him for his broken arm but apparently the Principal got into some trouble with the school board and the insurance company and since then he’s remained convinced Boris is trying to ruin his career
Nothing could be further from the truth Admittedly there have been a few incidents that have contributed to the Principal’s aversion to Boris’s company but back to the matter at hand Boris waved at the fountain for me to go first I don’t wanna sound like a whiner but things are messed up at Bendale How many indoor recesses are we gonna have It’s almost two or three a week We spend so much time in those classrooms I think my head’s gonna explode I’ve been at Bendale for almost seven years he continued and every year’s the same No running in the schoolyard we can’t play in the field if it rains or if there’s snow as if we’ll drown or freeze to death Other than Ms Crimpet who practically does everything herself and I guess Mr Hurley who does the school play the teachers don’t run any extracurriculars The teachers give us detentions all the time Nothing gets better I’m sick of it I let him have his turn at the fountain School is more a question of survival for me than it is for Boris Never having achieved what you would call popularity or made what you would call friends except for Boris I do not usually worry about those types of issues He was right though about all of it and especially about Ms Crimpet She helped with the Science Club the school play the Science Fair the volleyball team the Green Goblins Environmental Club the cross-country team the junior choir and I heard she was organizing the Kids for a Better Tomorrow Society That was about it for activities at Bendale It’s always been like this hasn’t it I asked Well it’s not the way it should be Why can’t Bendale change We have one more year here I don’t wanna waste it life’s too short We gotta do something he said I guess but what It wasn’t a particularly helpful question but it was all I could offer Boris took a final slurp Don’t know Adrian But something Nothing we’ve tried has worked Remember Operation Toy Drive or Operation Healthy Eats Both were excellent examples In sixth grade Boris tried to organize a toy drive at Christmas to help needy families We collected a straw two broken coffee mugs and a soccer ball with a hole in it But the low point might have been when Boris and I protested against the cafeteria’s selling fried food We
were pelted with french fries hot dogs and burgers We made our way back to the gym The door hadn’t closed completely Not everything is bad I said At least we won’t have to push the door open I have a tendency to be overly serious Boris has encouraged me to try to make the occasional humorous comment I’m not sure I hit the mark this time Boris raised his eyebrows and pursed his lips but I didn’t get the kind of reaction that typically follows any joke from Robert or Michael or anyone else We have to do something Boris muttered We can’t leave Bendale like this Boris was in full deep-thinking mode so I kept quiet and let him ponder and for the briefest of moments let myself believe that maybe just maybe Boris would figure out a solution Because if Boris Snodbuckle can’t solve a problem that problem can’t be solved
