The Wanderers

The Wanderers — page 5 — THE WANDERERS As the notes dramatically climb the powerful frame of a lion is silhouetted between parted curtains That’s Hari He stalks into the ring taking center stage The lights are working tonight so they fade in slowly until spotlights rest on Ava and Nora the two lionesses sitting on podiums on either side of the ring and one on Hari The sparkly blue bows around their necks catch the light dazzling Well they’re supposed to dazzle And maybe they would if everything wasn’t so cheap The audience claps when they see the animals The lions bring in the most cheers every night Owen stands patiently beside the central lion letting the audience’s applause die down before beginning the act The smile on his face is genuine he loves performing At fifteen he doesn’t have an act of his own yet but he worked hard to get a spot as a lion tamer and he does a good job Owen takes the lion over to a thin beam while the two lionesses circle the ring Hari’s black claws scratch the worn wood of the beam as he walks along it Owen keeps in step beside the lion clapping his hands in the air He tries to match his claps to the rhythm of the music but he doesn’t quite manage Nothing’s ever quite perfect with us Once the lion reaches the other side of the beam Owen turns to face the audience removes his tamer’s black and silver top hat and bows low A thundering round of applause follows The other two lions come forward approaching the beam ready for their next trick The lights dim again to a soft red hue Low music plays while they get into position 2

The Wanderers — page 6 — DUST Y CU RTA INS somber and moody It was my job sometimes to fade the music in and out I’d just watch through the curtain like I’m doing now and turn the dial on cue I’d rather be doing that than performing The sound of cellos pours softly from the speakers so low that I can hear the rustling of popcorn bags and hot dog wrappers coming from the audience The lights are angled toward the ring so the crowd is only very dimly lit but I can see them shuffling and fussing trying to get comfortable on the hard wooden seats The lions are nearing the end of their act now which means I’ve got about ten minutes left until I go out there And even though I know I should get ready I don’t seem to be able to make myself move and do it I want to stay where I am Right here out of sight I run shaking fingers over the curtain that hides me releasing dust into the air I cough and flap my hand in front of my face The circus isn’t the most glamorous place though I imagine it could be I’ve seen a movie about a circus on Hari’s portable DVD player It was a magnificent place confetti and fireworks gymnasts in glittering cos tumes and a tent five times the size of this one Here the surrounding curtains the same design that stretches around the outside of the ring are striped dark green and maroon Inside it’s a suede kind of material that gathers and traps dust Outside it’s more plastic and crin kles when I touch it It’s noisy when it rains Mismatched curtains section off separate areas and give us privacy backstage The sectioned-off areas are mostly 3

The Wanderers — page 7 — THE WANDERERS changing rooms Not that many shifters are all that con cerned about others seeing them naked something I have never been comfortable with Some of the curtains back here that make up these areas are created from old materials worn holey blankets we can’t use anymore the waterproof fabric from umbrel las left behind at the end of the night Some have holes in them some are frayed along the edges some smell damp and moldy causing a lingering musky scent in the tent No this circus is definitely not glamorous It’s a wonder that anyone actually comes to watch us Though I suppose they don’t know how bad it smells until they get here by which time they’ve already paid The elders are strict on keeping the audience area looking nice so at least they don’t see what we see Out there four rows of wooden benches in a semi-circle face the ring The first row is ground level then they go up up up The last two rows are perfect for crawling under neath and taking people’s belongings on a slow night a cell phone a fancy pair of leather gloves a wallet from a coat pocket not that I have any part in that kind of thing We don’t steal every night but if money’s tight and the cir cus isn’t making much which it doesn’t and we’re run ning low on food which we are what else are we to do We have to survive somehow and our options are limited I move from foot to foot The lions are almost done now so I sink back into the shadows a little more From my place behind the curtain I have a perfect view of the ring but nobody can see me I am invisible or at least 4

The Wanderers — page 8 — DUST Y CU RTA INS that’s how it seems I can hear everything see everything feel everything The rest of the circus members don’t really come here near the audience They all hang out outside at the back of the tent in the changing areas or by the stage entrance We have a cast of nineteen members with another twelve not yet old enough to perform That number changes all the time with newcomers the ones that grow up form their own packs and move on and the odd few stupid enough to run away Oh sure I’ve thought about it myself In fact I’ve thought about it almost every day for the past few weeks with my first performance creeping up on me But I’m not dumb enough to actually risk it Now that I’ve turned sixteen I’m required to take part in the performances And as the newest performer my act is the finale I have to suffer through the entire thing before it’s my turn to go up I can’t think of anything worse for my nerves They’ll introduce me to the crowd and I’ll take my place in the ring Not as a girl though My limbs tingle in antici pation but my mind shuts down the thought I’ve been practicing for this moment for so long but I’m still not ready and I feel like I never will be My tongue feels as dry as sandpaper my throat as scratchy It shouldn’t be this hard Everyone keeps telling me the nerves will get better fade with the more performances I do the more experience I get But that doesn’t help me now not tonight Not at this moment when I’m seconds away from my first appearance And now I hear from the other side of the curtain My stomach drops That was both the longest and the 5

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