Sammy Specter: Private Investigator, Public Terror
THE SPIRIT HAUNTINGS the youngest of children Sure there was always the resurgence of believers come October But once November hit it was bye bye ghosties and hello big guy up north As the clock struck midnight the president of SPIRIT Waylon Rattlebones approached the podium He was a large ghost with a commanding Commanding presence The crowd hushed at once It seems as though humans have become nonbelievers he said The ghosts booed Therefore SPIRIT needs your help Your job is to give these mortals the fright of their lives Waylon shook a fist at the gloomy sky That is our sole responsibility as ghosts Why 6
SAMMY SPECTER PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR PUBLIC TERROR else did we take the noble path of remaining in the afterlife if not to scare humans silly The living take themselves far too seriously It's our job to spook them senseless The ghosts puffed out their chests And the best part continued Waylon is that those who succeed will be rewarded with a membership into SPIRIT The crowd burst into cheers That's right Waylon nodded Full access That means VIP seating at all Programs for the Perished Discounts for our Slime of the Month Club and next month is boo berry You won't want to miss that And of course every SPIRIT member receives this special gold plated button 7
THE SPIRIT HAUNTINGS identifying their elite status to the rest of the nonliving He pointed to his extra large glimmering glimmering button The crowd oohed and aahed Sammy Specter couldn't believe his luck Frighten humans That's it This is going to be a piece of cake The louder their screams Waylon continued continued the more sleepless nights they suffer the more likely you are to be awarded membership We want tears We want sweat We want them crying for their mommies He banged his fist on the podium The gesture had served him well when he was living but it had little effect as a ghost The imps immediately started scheming 8
SAMMY SPECTER PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR PUBLIC TERROR The ghosts gathered in groups to discuss strategies strategies But Sammy knew better than to partner with another He'd been burned before Back when he was alive Sammy Specter had been the best private investigator of all time He'd even cracked Pennsylvania's biggest case in history case 40176 The Philly Cheesesteak Case But the newspaper got it wrong Instead of giving Sammy the credit he deserved they said his partner and best friend had been the hero The paper read PHILLY'S MISSING CHEESE FINALLY FOUND THANKS TO SHADY MALONE 9
