18 Squirrel Girl 19 Squirrel Girl 20 E-mail 21 Shady Oaks Listless Pines Community Friendbook Group 22 Tippy-Toe 23 Ana Sofía 24 Text Messages 25 Lizard Brain 26 Doreen 27 Ana Sofía 28 Squirrel Girl 29 Ana Sofía 30 Tippy-Toe 31 Squirrel Girl 32 Squirrel Girl 33 Ana Sofía 34 Doreen Epilogue Endnotes Acknowledgments
For Max who is very funny
SHADY OAKS NAMED LEAST DESIRABLE PLACE TO RAISE A FAMILY Litter graffiti thefts and packs of feral dogs helped land our township in last place in the annual New Jersey Today poll MYSTERIOUS TAILED GIRL SAVES BABY She tore that car door right off said a local man Saved the baby from the backseat of the stolen car and caught the carjacker to boot I tell you I've never seen the like SQUIRREL GIRL SAVES THE DAY An amateur Super Villain headed to jail after Shady Oaks's local Super Hero Squirrel Girl foiled his nefarious plot SQUIRREL GIRL STOPS CONVENIENCE STORE ROBBERY I didn't know what hit me said the alleged thief Turns out it was a giant squirrel tail Man I'm telling all my buddies to avoid Shady Oaks This neighborhood is protected now ALLEGED CAR-RADIO THIEF RESCUED FROM EXTREMELY TALL TREE When asked why he was in such a tall tree the suspect responded Squirrel Girl told me to spend some time up here thinking about my life choices
COUPON COUNTERFEITING OPERATION SHUT DOWN County police discovered a coupon-counterfeiting gang when the alleged criminals made a panicked 9-1-1 call They're everywhere They've taken out the lights Hundreds of small black eyes staring at us Now they're throwing acorns Save us Save us SHADY OAKS CRIME AT ALL-TIME LOW Local residents credit their own neighborhood Super Hero the unbeatable Squirrel Girl and her squirrel friends for the sudden drop in crime SHADY OAKS TO GET A SHOPPING MALL With crime low and consumer confidence high businesses are starting to invest in long-overlooked Shady Oaks
