You should really be more careful Prie chided scowling scowling at Obi-Wan as though any of this had been his fault It’s only a baby You could have hurt it But he What about Obi-Wan pointed at Bolla Now that there was a Jedi Master in the room Bolla was casually slurping his own soup as though nothing had happened Obi-Wan was sixteen years old A Padawan learner not a youngling initiate anymore Still the urge to tattle on Bolla was nearly overwhelming If not tattle at least get a chance to explain why he was covered in soup holding an injured wrist To recover some semblance of decorum in front of his master It looks as though you’re finished with your meal Qui-Gon said lifting an eyebrow Or perhaps it’s your meal that is finished with you Qui-Gon was definitely laughing on the inside whether he showed it or not Obi-Wan wanted to be able to laugh too but his heart was still racing not yet calmed down from the fight If it could even be called that since the demon squid in question was apparently so docile when handled correctly that it was now nestled into the space between Prie’s shoulder and neck She continued to whisper gentle nonsense at it Who spawned just right You did Who’s a good demon squid Obi-Wan didn’t know who was a good demon squid but certainly it wasn’t that one Bolla had his bowl tipped up to 4 KIERSTEN WHITE
hide his expression but Obi-Wan could see his shoulders shaking with barely suppressed laughter Anger was a path to the dark side and Obi-Wan wouldn’t take any steps down that path Much as he wanted to fling Bolla’s soup in his face Qui-Gon clasped his hands beneath his sleeves Whether he felt Obi-Wan’s turmoil or was simply embarrassed for him he said nothing about it I’m on my way to meditate and thought you might want to join me Meditation was the last thing Obi-Wan wanted to do soaked and still caught somewhere between panic and fury But given that it was the last thing he wanted to do it was probably the best thing for him Many things in the Jedi Order were like that the less he wanted to do them the better better they were for him And he wanted to be better He wanted to be the best The best Padawan the best learner the best Jedi He owed it to the Order Could we do saber practice instead Obi-Wan asked hopeful He hadn’t been apprenticed to Qui-Gon for long but so far his master hadn’t moved him beyond the most basic forms Obi-Wan was good at them Genuinely good He was ready to move on and working out some of this anger and frustration through saber forms would be much easier than trying to meditate Meditation was always harder than movement much as that felt like a paradox PADAWAN 5
I’m troubled Qui-Gon said not elaborating on what was troubling him We’ll meditate Obi-Wan’s stomach sadly dinner-free thanks to Bolla sank Was he the source of Qui-Gon’s troubles It seemed like the majority of their training was spent in meditation The other Padawans were frequently out on missions serving serving the Republic helping the galaxy Or in Bolla’s case finding creatures to torment Obi-Wan with Was it Obi-Wan’s fault that he wasn’t ready That Qui-Gon seemed content to remain on Coruscant meditating meditating But maybe it wasn’t that Qui-Gon was content Maybe it was that he was troubled by Obi-Wan worried that his Padawan wasn’t actually ready for anything outside the protection of the Temple Obi-Wan was trying to be the best Padawan He was trying trying so hard But guessing what would impress and please the gentle unflappable Master Qui-Gon Jinn was almost impossible Obi-Wan couldn’t pass a test if he didn’t even know what he was being tested on Not bidding farewell to the others Prie was absorbed with her new pet and Bolla was still pretending not to laugh Obi-Wan followed Qui-Gon out of the Padawan dining hall They left the lower sections with their vast training training rooms and various living areas then wound their way up toward the gardens Qui-Gon favored Obi-Wan liked them as well Or at least he used to before they became the location of his most consistent training failures Now even 6 KIERSTEN WHITE
the fresh scent of a green space triggered a spike of anxiety In a quiet corner of the luscious and sprawling gardens gardens surrounded by vivid orange blossoms and the sound of unseen water Qui-Gon sat on the floor His legs were crossed at the ankles his hands on his knees his eyes closed and his breathing instantly even Measured Purposeful Obi-Wan sat across from him The rock courtyard of the garden was hard and uncomfortable beneath him He couldn’t decide which ankle should go over the other Left over right seemed best but once he started thinking about it was it really He switched them Then switched them back Three more times He tried palms down on his knees and then palms up Spine straight Eyes closed But he was squeezing them shut again not letting them fall gently closed like a leaf drifting to the ground Qui-Gon had advised that imagery once Obi-Wan’s leaves were agitated and jittery things apparently Once he had finally gotten as close to comfortable as he could though he became even more aware of his own body His robes wet in several spots with now cold soup His wrist had ceased throbbing in time with his heartbeat and burned with a sullen insistent pain That was good though He wasn’t really meditating if he wasn’t working at it It shouldn’t be easy Should it It had been easy when he was a tiny initiate But he hadn’t understood understood it Not like he did now He wanted to ask Master Qui-Gon whether or not PADAWAN 7
