This week we welcome two new students Goat and Baby Gertie Today’s story stars Goat Goat was born like any other goat hatched from a metal sculpture of a pickle with wings in an elementary school hallway A genius from birth he said his first word Bleeeeeh within minutes and his first full sentence Bleeeh bleeeeh bleeeeh within the hour Goat is exceptional at goatball loves video games devours science facts and Wait this story is about who Berry What kind of berry Strawberry Raspberry Gooseberry The rare VeryHairyBerry
I don’t remember any sentient fruit attending Newville the occasional vegetable or starch sure but OH you mean BARRY With an A The student who completely solved the climate crisis but no one was paying attention THAT Barry Okay let me start over Today’s story stars a very special kind of Barry Barry Ross who is pretty good at goatball pretty good at acting and pretty good at being annoyed that he’s only pretty good at goatball and acting Barry wishes nothing more than to find his thing The one thing he can do better than any person or goat
in the world And as always the Cafetorium is here to help Newville Elementary had something for every kid The kids who loved drama tried out for the play The kids who loved words entered the spelling bee And the kids who loved cryptid lore and practical farming joined Gertie’s Club for Totally Normal Animal Husbandry But Barry was different He didn’t love one thing he loved LOTS of things And that Thursday he was happier than a kid on Muskrat Day
morning because the day was going to be full of things he loved He loved theater and he loved writing so he was anxious for Principal Rodriguez to announce the winner of the playwriting contest His play The Taming of the Crew was based on his behind the scenes experiences with the drama club It was in iambic pentameter and had a full score so he felt like he had a good shot at winning He also loved science so he was excited to find out who’d won the science fair He’d spent weeks on his project and he was really proud of it The solution to the climate crisis was right there in the bottom right corner
