Nathan Hale's Hazardous Tales #10: Blades of Freedom
TA DA I DONT WANT TO LEARN ABOUT ALL THOSE PEOPLE THE LOUISIANA PURCHASE WHEEL OF HISTORY THAT IS A LOT OF PEOPLE VERY WELL WELL MAKE A GAME OF IT OOH THIS LOOKS FUN WHY DIDNT YOU JUST START WITH THIS THAT'S A LOT OF HEADS IT'LL TAKE FOREVER TO GET THROUGH THEM LOUISIANA PURCHASE TA DA WHEEL OF HISTORY YOU ARENT MAKING THINGS EASY TODAY SPIN THE WHEEL AND WELL TALK ABOUT THE PERSON OR THING WE LAND ON WE COULD JUST HANG YOU THERE TWO AT A TIME CAN WE DO THIS ME FIRST I WANNA SPIN STEP RIGHT UP OH BABY GIMME SOMEONE WACKY 6
MARKY BARBY MARBWA ONE TWO THREE A MAN WITH A BIG WIG LA SALLE CRANK SPIN MARQUIS DE BARBE MARBOIS AND NO BARBY MARBWA OOF I HOPE I DON'T GET HIM NO BARBY MARBWA MARQUIS DE BARBÉ MARBOIS SHOO NOO000 LEMME SPIN AGAIN HA TAKE THAT BARBY MARBWA BUZZ OFF SORRY HAHA NO DO OVERS SWAT I'VE GOT IT MARKY BARBY MARBWA TELL YOUR TALE CAPTAIN HALE HANG ON A SECOND WE HAVE TO GO BY THE WHEEL RIGHT WELL THE ARROW IS POINTING AT THE MOSQUITO OKAY THIS STORY BEGINS WITH LA SALLE AND PLORK A MOSQUITO YES HE'S NOT WRONG RIDICULOUS 7
I CHAPTER 1 RENÉ ROBERT CAVALIER DE LA SALLE WAS BORN IN NORMANDY FRANCE IN 1643 THIS MOSQUITO WAS BORN SOMEWHERE NEARBY EARLIER THIS WEEK LA SALLE AND A MOSQUITO HIS FATHER WAS A HABERDASHER THIS IS SO STUPID WHAT'S A MERCHANT WHO SELLS SEWING ITEMS LIKE THREAD AND NEEDLES THAT WHAT DID ITS FATHER DO BUZZED AROUND AND SUCKED BLOOD MY FATHER DIDNT SUCK BLOOD OH LORD THE MOSQUITO'S TALKING I AM AEDES AEGYPTI AND ONLY THE FEMALES OF MY SPECIES SUCK BLOOD ACLE OH A PUZZERSUCKER EH STUPID MARQUIS STUPID OKAY THEN BARBÉ STUPID AM A FEMALE I AM ONE OF THE DEADLIEST ANIMALS IN THE WORLD SWAT IT AGAIN BILLY EEP AND I HAVE A GREAT DEAL TO DO WITH THIS STORY NO SHE'S RIGHT AEDES AEGYPTI TELL ON 8
MY SPECIES IS FROM SUB SAHARAN AFRICA WE NEED TWO THINGS TO THRIVE FRESH BLOOD AND STILL WATER I DONT WANT TO HEAR ANY MORE ABOUT TREE HOLES SOME SEASONS WERE DRIER THAN OTHERS WE CAME FROM DEEP IN THE RAINFOREST WHERE WE BRED IN MOIST TREE HOLES EWWW OUR TREE HOLES DIDNT ALWAYS STAY MOIST WE SEARCHED FAR AND WIDE FOR A NEW PLACE TO BREED WE TASTED MANY MAMMALS SUCKING THEIR DELICIOUS BLOOD OOH AND THERES A NICE BUZZ TO IT WHAT IS THAT ABOUT THREE THOUSAND YEARS AGO WE FOUND A DELICIOUS NEW MAMMAL THAT ALWAYS KEPT WATER AROUND HAVE YOU TASTED THIS HOW IS IT HAVE YOU TASTED THIS NUTTY WITH A HINT OF BERRIES MMM YELLOW FEVER WHAT A TREAT OOH TASTES SMART BUT NO BUZZ OF YELLOW FEVER WE HAD FOUND OUR NEW HOME-- HUMANS AND IN THEIR POTS IN THEIR POOLS IN THE WELLS THEY DUG WE WOULD BREEEEED FEVER YELLOW JUST ADD YOUR OWN I'M STARTING TO WISH WE HAD GONE WITH BARBY MARBWA 9
