For Linda and Bill Cline My first teachers and tormentors Agitators and allies My big sister and brother My best friends
ONE There’s 2,341 miles from Chicago to the San Francisco Bay And even if you happened to catch a ride in one of those 44 Silver Streak Pontiacs with the shiny front grilles that look like big ole teeth smiling back at you and drove as fast as the wind it’d still take you about a week to get there 2,341 miles is a lot of miles But it ain’t so far when an explo sion that happens in San Francisco California lands right smack dab in your lap here in Chicago I was sleeping good when that explosion happened I heard loud knocking on the front door and Momma’s tired voice asking Who’s that I sat up in my bed knowing there was no way company could be knocking on our door before Momma even called us in for breakfast And then I heard her slippers scrap ing toward the door Just as soon as Momma unhooked the chain and undid the bolt all I heard after that was the screaming Soft spoken is how most folks describe my momma She speaks her mind don’t hold back on the truth but she’s just as quiet as can be Before that night I never so much as heard her raise her voice let alone scream but there she 1
was shouting like she was broken in two By the time I hopped from my bed and made it to the front room where all the screaming was coming from my sisters were already there plus two men I’d never seen before dressed just alike holding their hats in their hands They looked like the picture of my daddy my momma kept in a frame hanging over our kitchen table Soldiers They were holding up my momma by her arms A piece of crumpled-up paper was lying on the floor in front of her Her head was rolling from side to side Clarisse my oldest sister put her hand out to stop me Go on back to bed Clem she said staring at Momma But even she didn’t sound like her usual mean self So I stood there behind her watching our momma It looked like her legs stopped working the way the soldiers had to hold her up Get her some water son one of them said to me But I was too afraid to move I heard the water running in the faucet behind me and it was my other sister Annette filling up a glass She brought it to the soldier and he tried to get my momma to drink Annette stood on the other side of me close Momma stopped screaming but her head was still roll ing from side to side Clarisse stepped away from me toward the soldiers We never had white folks in our house before 2
and these soldiers looked funny standing here in our living room holding up our momma Do you have anyone you can ask to come over and sit with your momma till she’s uh feeling better the soldier asked But looking at Momma with her head rolling every which way I didn’t think my momma was ever gonna get right again It’s okay Clarisse told him We’ll be fine She walked to our momma and sat her on the couch I could see Mom ma’s hand shaking in hers Clarisse is only fi ve years older than me but talking to the soldier and sitting on the couch calm as could be she looked like the momma and our momma looked like the child Good evening then the soldier said to Momma both of them tipping their hats to her Our deepest condolences Condolences I had never once heard that word but I knew as soon as the soldier said it he was telling us he was sorry Over the next days I watched my momma sit still as a stone in that one spot Clarisse sat her in I don’t know who dressed her Who combed her hair How she did her busi ness She didn’t look like she even remembered who I was Folks from our building and our church came in and out all day and night whispering soft words away from Mom ma’s ears in the kitchen where they left cakes and pies and 3
