slowly get out of bed and put my cowboy novel on my nightstand I pull the sheet away and I see a squirrel sitting in the cage It’s a little grey squirrel with a puffy tail Aside from the fact that it’s wearing tiny oval-shaped reading glasses and a miniature white coat it looks like a perfectly ordinary squirrel My parents got me a squirrel for my birthday I say shaking my head in disbelief Three years ago I asked them for a dog for my birthday and they gave me a plant Two years ago I asked for a bow and arrow set and so they gave me new shoes This year I asked for a book and they gave me a squirrel They always give me the opposite of what I ask for How is a book the opposite of a squirrel Aunt Dorcas asks I don’t know It just is Here is where the dream gets weird
Happy birthday W B says the squirrel in my father’s voice I’m so shocked that the squirrel has spoken that I drop its cage onto the floor Ouch the squirrel cries rubbing its little backside W B please be more careful My bones are much more delicate now that I have a squirrel body P I gasp Is that really you I call my parents P and M instead of Pa and Ma And they call me W B instead of Waldo Baron We all sort of prefer it that way The only person who goes by their regular name is Aunt Dorcas which is odd because she has the worst name out of all of us My father the squirrel begins to explain to me how he and my mother have just completed another successful experiment which allowed them to place their minds into the bodies of other creatures Don’t you see what this means my little squirrel-father says hopping up and down with excitement It means if you’ve ever wanted to fly you can place your mind into the body of a bird If you want to swim under the sea you can place your mind into the body of a fish This is the greatest scientific breakthrough in history In history I’m so excited Would you like an acorn I ask with a grin OH MY GOODNESS I WOULD LOVE AN ACORN
GIVE ME A wait stop that my father says blushing beneath his squirrel beard You’re not taking this seriously W B That’s your biggest problem You don’t take science seriously He’s probably right But he’s also a squirrel which makes it rather hard to take him seriously If you could put your mind into the body of any animal in the world why did you choose a squirrel I ask I thought you hated squirrels A squirrel is the only animal I could catch And I don’t hate them my father replies defensively twitching his little nose and stroking his puffy tail I just hate when they get into the garage and chew on my experiments You used to do the same thing when you were an infant You always chewed and drooled on everything At times you seemed more like a camel than a baby Will you be able to put your mind back into your body I ask Actually where is your body It’s rather creepy to think of my father’s body sitting around his work garage without a mind in it Oh your mother is watching it he tells me She has to Otherwise it might get into trouble How can your body get into trouble without a mind in it It does have a mind in it my squirrel father explains I didn’t get rid of the squirrel’s brain That would be cruel So I simply
switched it with mine My body currently has a squirrel brain in it Now that I’ve shown you what your mother and I have been working on I’m going to go switch back Would you please let me out of my cage I open the cage and my swift little squirrel-father bolts out of it and heads towards the door The moment he reaches it he bumps into an excited little prairie dog The prairie dog is also wearing little spectacles and a coat Isn’t this fantastic says the prairie dog in my mother’s voice I feel stronger and quicker than I have in years I think I can even do a cartwheel Watch me a do a cartwheel Sharon my squirrel father squeaks I told you to wait until I was human again before switching your brain with the prairie dog
