Katharine the Almost Great: The Purr-fect-o Present
On the Molar Express Crockett slapped his thigh Get it Mrs Bingsley groaned and smiled Got it How does a sheep say Merry Christmas in Mexico asked Crockett I know this one said Mrs Bingsley Fleece Navidad I scooted closer to Mrs Bingsley I have a joke What do cats on the beach and Christmas have in common Everyone tried to fi gure out the answer Everyone except Mrs Bingsley Her smile slid right off her face Her shoulders drooped That’s enough kids Lunchtime Don’t you want to know the answer I asked Everyone nodded 7
Everyone except Mrs Bingsley Her mouth twitched and she shook her head She lined us up and marched us down to the cafeteria Is Mrs Bingsley mad at you asked Vanessa when we sat at our table I chomped and chewed the crust off my sandwich I didn’t do anything Maybe she’s mad that you didn’t do your homework again said Vanessa Or maybe she’s mad that you spilled glitter on her desk Or maybe But Miss Priss-A-Poo didn’t fi nish her sentence Crockett did Maybe she saw you write Ho Ho Ho on your desk he said I peeled the top off my yogurt At least the glitter was red It’s her favorite color you know Besides she didn’t see my desk My letters were teensy-weensy 8
Tamara slurped her milk Has anyone noticed that Mrs Bingsley has been her eyes darted around the room cranky Cranky with a capital C I said Maybe we should call her Miss Crankypants Call who Miss Crankypants asked a voice behind me My skin tingled when I saw my mom holding a tray of gingerbread cookies My cheeks felt like they were as red as Rudolph’s nose Crockett snatched a cookie off the tray I have a joke for you Aunt Carol Mom laughed I thought you would What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed Mom put her fi nger on her chin Hmmm I don’t know 9
Crockett fl ashed a super-duper smile A cookie sheet Mom laughed and handed Crockett a second cookie A good joke deserves another good cookie Then she narrowed her eyes Katharine did I hear you call someone Miss Crankypants Rebecca giggled It was not a giggle moment I had to come up with one of my fab-u-lo-so facts from my 365 useless facts calendar I twirl-a-whirled my hair around my fi nger Did you know that gingerbread houses became popular in Germany during the nineteenth century after Hansel and Gretel was written I asked Actually I did know that said Mom Her watch beeped My veggie burgers She rushed toward the kitchen 10
