Katharine the Almost Great: The Purr-fect-o Present
chapter 1 Miss Crankypants Not another one Crockett I pressed my hand to my forehead and used my best Penelope Parks voice I simply can’t take it anymore No more jokes dah-ling But nothing would stop Crockett He leaned forward and whispered What do elves learn in school He didn’t wait for an answer The elfabet His eyes lit up Get it Christmas was eight days away That meant eight more days of Crockett’s jokes 5
I glanced at the Christmas tree in the reading corner My heart thumpity thumped I love Christmas It’s my very most favorite holiday Along with Valentine’s Day And New Year’s Eve And my birthday of course I wrinkled my eyes How many more Christmas jokes do you know Crockett tap tap tapped his head Plenty His hand shot into the air Mrs Bingsley can I tell some jokes before lunch Mrs Bingsley glanced at her watch Sure I’d love to hear some Crockett jumped up What do snowmen eat for breakfast Frosted Flakes shouted Johnny Crockett gave Johnny two thumbs up Here’s one you won’t know How does Santa get to the dentist No one knew the answer 6
On the Molar Express Crockett slapped his thigh Get it Mrs Bingsley groaned and smiled Got it How does a sheep say Merry Christmas in Mexico asked Crockett I know this one said Mrs Bingsley Fleece Navidad I scooted closer to Mrs Bingsley I have a joke What do cats on the beach and Christmas have in common Everyone tried to fi gure out the answer Everyone except Mrs Bingsley Her smile slid right off her face Her shoulders drooped That’s enough kids Lunchtime Don’t you want to know the answer I asked Everyone nodded 7
Everyone except Mrs Bingsley Her mouth twitched and she shook her head She lined us up and marched us down to the cafeteria Is Mrs Bingsley mad at you asked Vanessa when we sat at our table I chomped and chewed the crust off my sandwich I didn’t do anything Maybe she’s mad that you didn’t do your homework again said Vanessa Or maybe she’s mad that you spilled glitter on her desk Or maybe But Miss Priss-A-Poo didn’t fi nish her sentence Crockett did Maybe she saw you write Ho Ho Ho on your desk he said I peeled the top off my yogurt At least the glitter was red It’s her favorite color you know Besides she didn’t see my desk My letters were teensy-weensy 8
