Dr. Critchlore’s School for Minions Book 3: Polar Distress
FOR RACHEL RICKY ALEX AND DANIEL
Chapter 1 If at first you don’t succeed you’re fired EVIL OVERLORDS TO NEW RECRUITS I was pretty sure the apple was poisoned In my defense defense I was really hungry It was afternoon I’d missed lunch and now I was stuck in my junior henchman classroom alone with Professor Murphy who sat behind his giant desk ignoring me On my own desk was a plate with the apple a small cage holding a mouse a pocket chemistry set my test sheet and a pencil We’d been studying food safety an important job for henchmen because they have to keep their overlords safe from enemies who want to poison their food I knew what I had to do carefully examine the surface surface of the apple for needle marks and other blemishes cut a slice use the poison-detecting mouse and perform perform some chemical tests I’d done it all One side of
the apple had a puncture mark And even though Professor Professor Murphy had used a poison that was safe to eat but was detectable as a real poison when I dropped a slice from the punctured side into the mouse’s cage he wouldn’t even sniff it The chemicals started foaming like a rabid werewolf as soon as they touched the slice Finally according to the test the server had only just been hired meaning not trustworthy I wrote all of this down along with my conclusion The apple was poisoned My suggested course of action Arrest Arrest the server and feed him the apple In my mind I’d completed the test And then my stomach growled Professor Murphy worked at his desk scowling as he graded the essay portion of my exam I stood up grabbed my practical exam and approached him Without Without looking up he pointed to a pile of papers on the corner of his desk I dropped it on top You need a mentor I believe he said still focused on his papers He hardly ever looked at me It was as if he thought if he ignored me I might go away He was right though I didn’t have a mentor My first mentor Coach Foley had gotten rid of me after I failed the first junior henchman test My second mentor was Mistress Moira the school seamstress chocolatier but she didn’t teach a class of minions and one of the goals
of the Junior Henchman Training Program was to teach us how to lead a group of students Plus she’d recently taken leave to find the witch who had cursed me I’m assigning you to Tootles Professor Murphy said Tootles I was confused Tootles wasn’t a teacher he was the head groundskeeper But he doesn’t teach a class of minions No He needs help with his Forest Restoration Project and asked me for a volunteer so I’m assigning you He finally looked up at me and then pointed to my desk Return to your seat until the test period is over he said so I did Well this bites All the other third-year junior henchmen henchmen trainees had great minions to lead Rufus’s mentor taught the intermediate mummies Janet had the imps Jud had some giants and Frieda led other ogre-men Even the new kid Meztli had a great group of minions minions some first-year monkey-men Who did I have Nobody I wasn’t going to be able to march around school with my very own minions following me doing what I told them to do And really that was the best thing about being in the Junior Henchman Program I sulked at my desk alone We had to take the quiz individually after school Each of my classmates had already taken it and passed It wasn’t a hard test
