This is very bad It’s the opposite of what we’re trying to do with a school group We want to show them how well mannered and amazing the birds are I’ve never been bitten without food involved It’s not something raptors usually do And now it’s happened here in front of everyone Get into the house Karma Go call your mom Dad I race to the house and yell for Gavin He’s supposed to be practicing his times tables but I bet he’s reading Get Mom on the phone Gav I shout Stark nailed orders me He bursts out of his room eyes round holding a Spider-Man Spider-Man and the X-Men comic book What Mom Phone Nailed I whip off my gauntlet and flex my fingers How could I have let this happen Especially after Stark footed me already this month I still have the marks where she grabbed me with her talons I knew she might not work as an education bird but I thought I could fix bad imprinting Feeling as if I’m going to be sick I slump into a chair rest my head on the kitchen table and prop my arm carefully carefully across the top Gavin hands me the phone Let me see Oh there’s I forget sometimes he’s only nine My vision blurs as I try to dial Mom’s shop Red Rock Flower Power a cheerful voice says Debbie Can you get my mom My voice trembles blood 10
Debbie’s tone softens She’s with a customer sweetheart sweetheart hold a sec It’s getting on the floor Gavin points to a drop of bright blood on the cream linoleum Karma Mom says What’s wrong For some reason the sound of her voice causes my throat to close up and I can’t talk I let out a squeak Mom Gavin yells Karma’s bleeding all over the floor Where’s your father Out with a class I’m ashamed of how my voice shakes Stark’s a good bird It was my fault It’ll take me fifteen minutes to get home Call Aunt Amy Lie down Get Gavin to apply ice You can I don’t hear the rest The phone slips from my fingers and I slump to the floor 11
Two In my tree house I curl up on my red-tailed-hawk bedspread bedspread At least I think it’s supposed to be a redtail but the colors on the terminal band are all wrong even for a hawk that’s molting I try not to let the obvious error bother me Grandma Barritt bought it for me and she doesn’t know much about birds Mom Dad and Aunt Amy are having a conference in the house which I’m sure has something to do with my doctor visit yesterday I can practically hear my apprenticeship apprenticeship gasping a dying breath My only goal in life besides having a normal sleepover with real friends has been to get my apprentice license as soon as I turn fourteen Aunt Amy is a falconer and I am going to be her apprentice Though I’m pretty sure falconers don’t get bitten in front of a crowd of people because they weren’t paying attention A knock on the door Dad climbs up through the trapdoor trapdoor in my floor When he stands he has to stoop under the low ceiling He sighs flicks his dark braid off his 12
shoulder and runs his hand along one of the studs in the wall You’re really going to stay out here for a whole year Montana winters aren’t anything to sneeze at We built the tree house this summer in the sturdy branches of a cottonwood for one of our Outdoor Classroom Classroom homeschooling projects complete with wiring and heating After it was finished I convinced Dad to let me live in the tree house as a social experiment I promised to write an essay on my findings But I think we both know the real reason I wanted to live here is so I can sleep in a tree like a wild raptor I’ve heard him tell people that I like to understand outdoor things That I’m better with birds than with people I roll over to face him I guess I’ll find out soon if we did a good enough job insulating I say patting the wall beside me Dad sits on my cot Falconers don’t mope I am not And I’m not a falconer Yet Only nine months until I get to begin the apprenticeship He smiles but looks away and something about his uncertain uncertain expression makes my chest tighten Family meeting in the kitchen he says That bad Come on down hon When I go through the kitchen door Gavin jumps out at me and pokes my bandaged arm Does that hurt Not at all I say Come closer so I can demonstrate how much it doesn’t hurt 13
