standing She’s probably my age since we’re doing this demo for an eighth-grade biology class Her straight blond hair falls in a glossy sheet over her shoulders nothing like my frizzy auburn hair She points to Stark and the two girls sitting next to her giggle I realize I’m still staring at her and rush to answer Gyrfalcons are the largest falcons in North America And females are bigger than males so she can get heavy Almost the same weight as a bowling ball I say I mean the small kinds of balls You know the kind you bowl with when they have all the neon lights going like it’s a party It actually was my party We went on my birthday From the look on her face I know I need to stop rambling rambling But I hear myself reaching to keep her attention My neighbor Michelle came bowling with us She lives a few houses down We’ve been friends for ages even though she’s three years older than me She goes to school Stop talking Stop it Maybe you know her Michelle Miller Before the girl can answer I feel a shift in the audience as all eyes turn to me My attention snaps back to Dad My daughter Karma is one of the best bird handlers in Montana She’ll show you how fast falcons can fly by swinging a lure for Stark to chase he says Stark is a gyr falcon the same family as Gremlin my peregrine here Are you ready to meet her I give the girl an apologetic smile then stand taller and walk to the center of the pit One of the teachers starts a round of polite clapping The October sky hangs blue and clear A brisk northerly picks up speed coming off the mountain range 6
to the west and sweeps across the sagebrush A perfect day for a flight I turn on my headset microphone and launch quickly into my speech Here at the education center we have hawks falcons eagles and owls We call them all raptors which is a term for birds of prey Falcons like Stark here have long thin toes I point to her gorgeous yellow feet Their beaks are short with a notch that acts like a tooth It fits between the neck vertebrae of their prey Falcons Falcons kill prey by breaking their necks Hawks however have strong feet and talons for gripping and puncturing vital organs organs That’s how they kill prey As I recite my speech I walk the perimeter so everyone can see Stark up close Later they’ll have a chance to hold one of the kestrels our smallest falcons Some raptors talons can apply four hundred pounds of pressure Humans can maybe squeeze twenty pounds I pause for effect before the punch line Depends how much you work out Scattered laughter makes me smile as I make eye contact with everyone All the best performers make eye contact The blond girl doesn’t smile back She talks to her friends behind her hand My stomach tightens as I wonder if they’re talking about me I keep my left arm angled to comfortably hold the three-pound falcon and not tire myself Normally all my attention is on the bird on my fist but I can’t help sneaking glances at the three girls Are they impressed with Stark’s white plumage Maybe they wish they owned a falcon I 7
should have said more about falcons instead of bowling Why do I always do that If I’d been more interesting maybe they would’ve wanted to visit which could’ve led to a friendship and then to sleepovers with pizza and sharing secrets All the regular things I imagine friends do Stark holds her beak partially open as she shuffles on my gloved hand and I automatically pinch the jesses between between my fingers to keep her from flying off Falconers like to stick with tradition and use old-fashioned old-fashioned words for things I say For example we call this glove I’m wearing to protect me from the talons a gauntlet I point to the other pieces of equipment The leather bracelets on Stark’s legs are called anklets and the thinner leather straps that hang down from the anklets are jesses The legs are the strongest part of the bird I reach for Stark’s hood but my attention strays to the girls The moment the hood is off Stark’s sharp beak sinks into my bare arm just above the glove I yelp in pain and surprise Fighting the same panic that surely courses through Stark’s own body I force myself to calmly gather the jesses between my fingers and go still The worst thing to do is what I want to do scream and shake my arm I am calm I am not afraid I am safety Guilt sticks in my throat as she bates trying to fly away from me The jesses prevent her from leaving my fist She hangs upside down flapping I wait until she pauses and then I swing her upright my jaw clenched I should’ve noticed she was unsure of the crowd I should’ve paid attention 8
The blood is thick and red as it trickles into my gauntlet and down my wrist Her wings deliver blows across my face To avoid them I straighten my arm and accidentally loosen my fingers releasing releasing her jesses something I haven’t done since I was seven Stark rises into the sky with her jesses still attached If she flies to a tree and they tangle in the branches I will never forgive myself I’m supposed to keep her safe but I’ve let her down Students shriek and point in the air shoving each other Dad secures Gremlin to a block and then swings a lure He whistles to my bird in the sky Shamefaced and shocked I stare at the skin of my forearm forearm already purpling around the punctures Now that I don’t need to pretend composure for Stark my hands begin to shake My knees won’t work properly I gape at the chaos of kids pointing and laughing teachers shouting orders and the three girls now covering their heads and screaming Dad’s voice comes through the speakers telling everyone to stay calm I stand there watching it all happen in slow motion Stark goes for the lure making everyone yell again and duck for cover When Dad picks her up he allows her the tidbit she earned from the lure We can never forget that the birds come first Only when Stark is secured to a block does he dart over to me I don’t understand what just happened Are you okay He quickly inspects the bite but then looks back to the crowd of people still sitting in our ring 9
