it’s hard because every time I put something in my duffel bag Fido dives in and drags it out and wants to play Tug-of-War Or she hides it under my bed Or she tries to chew it to pieces She chews a lot of things to pieces and not just my stuff but Mom’s and Dad’s too Mom laughs it off Dad doesn’t One of the bazillion reasons he won’t let me get a dog is that dogs chew things up Put that down I say to Fido I’m not interested in playing Tug-of-War with my underwear She holds on and growls She wants to play So do I I hate packing I dig under my bed and find a sock that hasn’t been chewed to bits She drops my underwear and dives under the bed snatching the sock before I can get to it then races in circles around the room the dirty sock in her tiny teeth Hey you I say pretending I’m sore at her Bring that here Fido here This is an order and she obeys She’s a good
dog that way She inches toward me with her butt up in the air growling in her deep voice which is about as deep as a mouse’s Come on I say Give it here Give it Fido Fido Give me the sock She hunkers down her ears low I lunge forward and grab the other end of the sock She tightens her grip digs her claws into the carpet and starts shaking her head back and forth We both tug I have to pretend she might actually jerk the sock out of my hand which is impossible If I wanted to I could lift it up in the air with her dangling from it by her teeth A knuckle knocks on my door Rufus my mom says poking her head inside Can I come in Can’t you see I’m busy I ask I can she says with a that’s-so-cute smile I just thought I’d tell you the exciting news Exciting I ask Mom’s idea of exciting and mine are pretty different I just got off the phone she sings Singing
her words is a sign she’s about to break some bad news This is not looking good Oh I ask Fido keeps growling and tugging Another fa-mi-ly will be joining us on the tri-ip Mom sings What family And just say it Mom Don’t sing it She sucks in her bottom lip and makes her oh-you’re-getting-so-smart-and-grown-up face Who Mom I demand Who is coming with us She opens her eyes and mouth wide in fake anticipation as if she were building suspense If I had a drum set I’d give her a drum roll but Dad says I can get a drum set when I’m grown up and living on my own not before Mom I say I wonder if she’s read that book I’ve seen on her bookshelf How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk If she did she didn’t learn anything She steps inside the room I thought it’d be fun she says to have another family join
us on our White Crappie trip this year so I invited She pauses for effect I scream at her with my eyes Go on I invited Dmitri and his family I let go of the sock and Fido rolls away like a coconut
