1 I need a vacation All the fuss at school about my guinea dog Fido has worn me down Everyone kept bugging me to see the guinea pig that acted like a dog or asking me where to get one or otherwise being very annoying It was exhausting Fortunately next week my family is heading to White Crappie Lake for our annual camping trip The lake is filled with white crappies which is a kind of fish but even so I’m sure they could have come up with a better name My best friend Murphy and his family are coming too They go with us every year It’s a summer vacation tradition that traces back to when we were in kindergarten together We’ve been friends that long Murphy’s the greatest guy in the whole world I’m lucky he’s my best
friend and I’m his because everybody loves Murphy including Dmitri My worst friend Dmitri has been trying to replace me as Murph’s best friend ever since he moved to Rustbury last summer He’s always trying to impress Murph with all the cool devices and clothes and stuff his rich parents buy him But Murph doesn’t care about that kind of stuff He would have accepted Dmitri as a friend anyway His motto is The more the merrier Murph and I always have so much fun at the lake We swim dive off the floating pier jump off the tire swing go boating explore the woods and just you know hang out without any interruptions from school or from Dmitri This will be Fido’s first trip to the lake of course I mean I’ve only had her a little while Murph loves her and so does his dog Buddy who is probably the greatest dog in the whole world Murph says Fido’s the greatest guinea pig in the whole world He’s the one who came up with the idea of calling her a guinea dog Right now I’m busy packing for the trip but
it’s hard because every time I put something in my duffel bag Fido dives in and drags it out and wants to play Tug-of-War Or she hides it under my bed Or she tries to chew it to pieces She chews a lot of things to pieces and not just my stuff but Mom’s and Dad’s too Mom laughs it off Dad doesn’t One of the bazillion reasons he won’t let me get a dog is that dogs chew things up Put that down I say to Fido I’m not interested in playing Tug-of-War with my underwear She holds on and growls She wants to play So do I I hate packing I dig under my bed and find a sock that hasn’t been chewed to bits She drops my underwear and dives under the bed snatching the sock before I can get to it then races in circles around the room the dirty sock in her tiny teeth Hey you I say pretending I’m sore at her Bring that here Fido here This is an order and she obeys She’s a good
dog that way She inches toward me with her butt up in the air growling in her deep voice which is about as deep as a mouse’s Come on I say Give it here Give it Fido Fido Give me the sock She hunkers down her ears low I lunge forward and grab the other end of the sock She tightens her grip digs her claws into the carpet and starts shaking her head back and forth We both tug I have to pretend she might actually jerk the sock out of my hand which is impossible If I wanted to I could lift it up in the air with her dangling from it by her teeth A knuckle knocks on my door Rufus my mom says poking her head inside Can I come in Can’t you see I’m busy I ask I can she says with a that’s-so-cute smile I just thought I’d tell you the exciting news Exciting I ask Mom’s idea of exciting and mine are pretty different I just got off the phone she sings Singing
