Chapter 1 Ghoulie Golf Malcolm Malcolm stared across the dinner table his mouth open For once he wasn’t trying to gross out his sister Cocoa He was shocked He snapped his mouth shut swallowed and said What His father barely looked up from his plate of noodle surprise You and I are taking part in the father-son miniature golf tournament at the park this weekend Dandy’s father called and told me about it I signed us up You’ll have fun 4
I’m fairly sure you promised me that when you made me go camping Malcolm said I was squashed in the car with Dandy squashed in a pup tent with Dandy and fed burnt hot dogs 5
No one told you to drop your hot dog in the fire Besides you had fun You might as well admit it Actually he did have fun but not because they were dragged out into the wilderness He had fun because they found a ghost He almost smiled remembering it but he didn’t want Dad to think he was giving in That doesn’t mean I’ll have fun playing golf Malcolm said His dad frowned I don’t know why you’re acting so weird about this Beside him Cocoa snorted He’s a weirdo That’s all the reason he needs Mom gave Cocoa the look That’s not helpful Why are you picking on me Cocoa whined You always take his side That’s not helpful either Mom said 6
Not helpful Grandma Eunice echoed Malcolm wasn’t sure if she knew what was going on His great-grandmother was busy staring at her plate She was stabbing her food with her fork as if she thought something might be hiding underneath Grandma Eunice pretended to be loopy to get out of chores Sometimes she even drooled Of course even when she wasn’t pretending Grandma Eunice wasn’t exactly normal Malcolm took a deep breath put his hands on the table and tried to sound calm I had plans for this weekend He was planning to hang out in the basement working on his latest invention Electronic glasses that let him see into the future There would be no more flunked pop quizzes for him 7
