Dear future human Here I am again after two months of well-deserved vacation Believe me being a teen and future hero isn’t very relaxing Remember last year the mysterious graffiti on the wall of the secret passage Raoul Kador’s dirty tricks the retirement home the prank calls Ramoupoulos’s PE class and the anxiety over Conrad’s visit you know my English exchange student with the mullet This little intro to middle school really stressed me out By the end of June I was totally exhausted and I still haven’t quite recovered I think we should alternate between one year of school and one year of vacation don’t you
Like every time I go on vacation I left my brilliant personal journal at home But did you see This time I added an even more discouraging warning than last year and apparently no one touched it Still I did take some discreet notes so I could catch you up on the most memorable events of my summer break and I have a lot to tell you For starters after the end-of-the-year party that old slug Tom and I hung out for a bit He tried to teach me some graffiti tricks but I have to admit I’m a lot better at writing On the wall of the secret passage Tom wrote M T blood brothers He really wanted us to leave our mark before we went on vacation
In July the streets started to empty out You could feel the mass exodus from the big cities toward the ocean beaches Tom and I weren’t so lucky He took the train to the Basque country in the south of France and I headed west toward Brittany The day before we left we made sure our time capsule was still safe in its hiding place buried in the vacant lot
birthday ahead of time I was born on August fifth You couldn’t pick a worse date in the middle of summer vacation when no one’s around to celebrate your b-day But the worst part is that my birthday is right after Marion’s The very next day As in hers is the day before As in just before mine Get the picture In case you forgot Marion is my older sister and she is still so annoyyyyyying So my sister’s birthday is the fourth and mine is the fifth I have no idea how my parents could have done such a thing to me but the result total disaster I’m always second I’m sure I’ve been cursed Then Tom gave me a present for my Anyway I shouted with joy when I unwrapped Zombieland Anthology 1 and 2 It’s a guidebook to the video game that gives you all the tricks to beat the levels survive every world and save Earth
