CHAPTER 1 Dumb Clothes on Dogs I’m Alfie Wolfe and there’s one thing I hate Bows on dogs Another thing I hate teensy little clothes on teensy little dogs Have you ever seen a dog in clothes Some dog owners are crazy Boy or girl dog doesn’t matter It’s weird how people dress them up Anyhow you won’t believe what Herbie was wearing the first time I saw him I never felt sorrier for a dog Herbie checked into Hound Hotel last year Last
summer to be exact Last July to be exacter My dad had just left for a whole month His longest wolf-study trip yet Man I missed him But that’s beside the point Back to Herbie Sure he’s not the only dog that’s come to our place wearing stupid clothes But he goes down in history as the worst Trust me I always try to take off dogs bows and junk right after their owners leave But my sister has fast fingers She has fast everything if you want to know the truth hands legs mouth I turn my back and she’s put those stupid bows right back on the dogs Here’s the thing every kind of dog in the world came from wolves Every dog’s great-great-great add a bunch more greats here grandparents were wolves Would you
put a pink dress and bow on a wolf If your answer is no here’s a high five If your answer is yes I feel super sorry for your dog But back to Herbie I’ll tell you all about him whether you put bows in your dog’s hair or not Herbie showed up on a Friday morning The day had
started out normal Spot our rooster woke me up the second the sun rose I woke up in a bunch of pillows on the living room floor Being asleep on the floor is normal in the summertime anyhow It’s normal for my mom and sister too We’d fallen asleep watching another dog movie Mom was on the couch stretching Alfreeda was beside me on the floor drooling all over a pillow My sister drools as much as a bloodhound Ugh Disgusting I poked her awake and we got right up You can’t be lazy when you run a dog hotel We ate breakfast on the kitchen floor That’s normal at our place too Mom was writing another book about dogs Like usual the kitchen table and chairs were covered with her writing stuff
