The Jolly Regina (The Unintentional Adventures of the Bland Sisters Book 1)
DULLSVILLE
tepid tepid adjective esp of a liquid only slightly warm Chapter One If you ever find yourself on the road to Dullsville you might encounter an unassuming house In it reside the Bland Sisters Jaundice and Kale You might tell the Bland Sisters apart in several ways First Jaundice prefers to dress in gray while Kale favors brown Second Kale wears her hair parted on the side while Jaundice parts hers in the middle Third Jaundice is left handed while Kale is right handed Fourth Kale is seldom seen without her backpack in which she currently carries Dr Nathaniel Snoote's Illustrated
Children's Dictionary a rather large leather bound tome with a cracked spine reinforced with many layers of tape a gold stamped cover featuring the beatific silhouette of Dr Snoote himself and tabs along the side for each letter of the alphabet The dictionary is the Bland Sisters favorite reading material and their main source of education Carrying Dr Snoote in her backpack is Kale's main source of physical and mental exercise Fifth Jaundice is known to wear a smock featuring an inordinate number of pockets Being the more skilled seamstress of the two sisters a skill learned from one of Dr Snoote's Educational Sidebars called Know Your Stitches Jaundice sewed this garment herself out of an old curtain and the upholstery of a long since discarded couch Usually the pockets contain such treasures as a sock darning needle and thread several milk bottle caps a long shoelace with various knots tied in it and half of yesterday's sandwich wrapped in a napkin Jaundice tends to forget to empty her pockets before her smock goes into the wash much to the chagrin of Kale who does the laundry Other than these few distinctions the Bland Sisters are just about the Same
Jaundice and Kale pride themselves on their exacting routine After breakfast plain oatmeal with skim milk a cup of weak tepid tea on the side they tend to their business of darning other people's socks which takes the better part of the day Each allows herself one ten minute break during which she eats a cheese sandwich on day old bread and drinks a glass of flat soda while gazing out the window watching the grass grow The Bland Sisters look forward most to the evenings when they entertain themselves by reading the dictionary to each other then staring at the wallpaper until they fall asleep It should be mentioned that Jaundice and Kale have parents Several years ago they left quite suddenly to run an errand of an unspecified nature The Bland Sisters don't tend to dwell on it too much as they are sure their parents will return any day now
