And that is still only HALF the amount of utter wrongness that just happened Oh diary I can’t even bring myself to tell you the details but let’s just say that a whole heap of things are a bit broken Stella and Willow aren’t speaking to each other and Dahlia says I’m not allowed to even LOOK at her test tubes ever again in my entire life But worst of all I’ve been banned from pranking until next Sunday That’s like a whole week Which is like FOREVER I mean how am I supposed to have any fun at all round here if I’m not thinking up even an itty-bitty little trick or two Stella said they’ve put up with the pranks for long enough and it was about time I realized it’s not ALL about me I said I wasn’t doing it for me I was doing it for THEM Only she pointed out that so far this month my pranks had left her with four missing spoons a broken skateboard and a stain on the wall from where the pink flour bomb hit it that just WON’T wash off so it wasn’t really working out that well for her at all 10
Plus Dahlia is tired of the endless racket and how is she supposed to invent something as GENIUS as the wheel or sliced bread with a pain in the birdbrain And Willow says that even though she loves me more than the moon and stars themselves I do have a tendency to ripple the biorhythms of the fragile island ecosystem with my desire for disturbance which like I don’t even UNDERSTAND At least Luca thought it was funny Though to be fair Luca thinks everything is funny I mean I suppose Stella has a point The pranks do sometimes just SOMETIMES have a habit of going a bit wrong But still why couldn’t Stella have just made me wash the dishes for a day or fill in some pig holes or have confiscated my drumsticks Well she confiscated those as well but if she hadn’t banned me from pranking I could probably have borrowed something from Willow or Dahlia to use instead I even said sorry a hundred-and 11
thirty-three times Dahlia counted but not even that was enough to change Stella’s mind It’s NOT FAIR I mean asking me not to prank is like asking Dahlia not to THINK or Stella not to SING or Willow not to do all the bazillion things Willow does Or the pigs not to EAT or Gale not to LOOK IN THE MIRROR Which like HELLO This is worse than the time I broke my cymbals and had to use two plastic plates instead which do not have the same sound no matter what Willow says AND the time I thought I’d lost Luca down the volcano after firing him from my slingshot and spent four hours looking for him it turned out he’d flown straight over and was back in his treehouse playing pigs and ladders AND the time I ACCIDENTALLY exploded my own treehouse and had to share with Dahlia while she rebuilt it Which wouldn’t have been so bad except she TOTES talks in her sleep AND hogs the bed I fell off twelve times and in the end I just slept inside the bass drum which to 12
be fair is where I’ve stayed ever since but even so it was completely ANNOYING Only not as annoying as today Today is without doubt the WORST DAY EVER This is so HUMONGOUSLY AWFUL that I really think the WORLD IS ENDING That or it has to be a dream Yes that’s it There is no way that something this TOTES TRAGIC is actually happening to me In fact I’m going to go to bed right now and when I wake up tomorrow everything will be back to normal And I Poppy the Queen of Pranksters will be back to my usual tricks zzzzzz 13
