Sara Cassidy I’ve got it sweetheart Mom picks up the phone in her room She speaks quietly for a few minutes Kids she calls I need to talk to you The three of us bound to her room The boys are wearing flannel pajamas with pictures of robots and snow boarders Their hair is stormy with sleep Silas has eight little circles indented on his cheek It looks like he slept on a piece of Lego I’m wearing the knee length soccer shirt that Dad sent from England Mom smiles at us but when she blinks tears slide from her eyes Sad news she says Richard died last night Outside Silas asks horrified Yes dear Mom says In the park Alone Leland asks in a wobbly I guess so Mom says gently voice 2
Windfall Richard slept outside and alone for many years Was it rainy and cold Leland’s chin trembles It was a lovely night Mom says She shoots me a look Mom and I played Crazy Eights last night after the boys went to sleep Rain pelted the roof and the wind was so strong that the branches of the backyard apple tree scratched at the window Still maybe Richard was warm and dry Maybe in his dreams angels rocked him into that weird final sleep You never know He was probably dreaming beautiful dreams I say to comfort Leland Probably Leland challenges Maybe probably I say Maybe maybe Leland says We brought him a coat not that long ago Silas says And socks He would have been warm 3
Sara Cassidy We gave him money every time we saw him Mom says airily She looks out the window at another gray Victoria day She’s right we did But we never invited him for supper or for a shower or a night in a warm bed We have an unused bedroom in the basement he could have lived in We won’t ever ever see him again right Leland asks That’s right except in your memories Mom starts making her bed There will be a funeral in a few days Leland goes rigid He clenches his teeth I’m not going to a funeral he says staring Mom down Me neither Silas mutters his eyes on the floor Liza Mom looks surprised Surely you’ll go No way I declare I picture Richard wax-white and unmoving on his bench 4
Windfall I imagine rain on his lifeless face What was I thinking angels Warmth He was just as alone when he died as he was in life Mom sits again on her bed and studies our faces She opens her arms to Leland He resists at first but then melts into her lap Look you guys Mom whispers This is sad Even a little frightening We didn’t know Richard well but we loved him He was sweet Gentle Yeah Leland sniffles raising his head from Mom’s shoulder His gentleness was more important than his smelliness Silas and I both snort We try to stifle our laughter Maybe you’ll change your minds Mom continues ignoring us A funeral is a chance to say goodbye She grins then singsongs You’d miss a bit of school 5
