that mean donuts are good for the digestion too I don’t think Gram would steer me wrong She’s the one who told me to brush my teeth with baking soda to get them sparkly white for when I’m a real director Now May’s glaring at us like a rain cloud with a grudge and Folly pulls at his tie again It’s a regular Folly trademark I’m about to run for it but long-fingered May yanks me by the collar You didn’t think people really did that did you But May’s got real theatrical flair She holds on to me like we’re doing one of Ruben’s theater exercises the one where you have to do a whole scene without ever letting go of your partner You’d better work as fast as you can When you’re done we’re driving down to the theater for my rehearsal Her rehearsal Every kid in the company is rehearsing something for the variety show fundraiser tonight but to hear May you wouldn’t think anything else was going on besides her love affair with the spotlight She won’t even call it the Juicebox anymore because she says that makes it sound like a place for babies I wriggle free from May’s pincers I’m good at that So what’s our newest business I start to say to Folly but May cuts me off Sidney Horatio Camazzola I’m going to stuff your ugly head in a basket and throw you out the front door if you don’t get over to Mr Jameson’s house before I count to three-quarters One-quarter But you wouldn’t hurt a poor orphan would you Ruben gave us that scene to practice last week Sidney and you were terrible at it then too Two-quarters That’s one-half May You could’ve just said one-half Three And I am gone But not because I really think May’s going to have any luck trying get this head inside a basket orphan or not I’m wilier than any basket ever made I leave double fast because I want to eat my leftover karaoke pink-sprinkle donut in peace and where there is May there is never any peace
You might be wondering why I didn’t say a word about any karaoke machine during that whole scene if that was supposed to be the main point Well you just weren’t looking It’s called internal motivation I was thinking about it the whole time If this was a real play I would’ve given you a playbill at the start of it It’s got advertising and stuff in it and it tells you about the play the director and the cast So why don’t you take a look at the playbill now while I’m walking over to Mr Jameson’s
Act I SCENE TWO I know I didn’t get to the cast part but there wasn’t time Mr Jameson lives just next door The front of Mr Jameson’s house looks a lot like the front of my house except it’s yellow like I said The back of it looks the same too except his has chickens Remember how I said this is Act One They do that with plays You have three acts and it’s like here’s a problem here’s how all the characters try to fix the problem and sometimes run into more problems and here’s how the problem gets fixed We’re about to learn more about the problem I cross our dead grass to Mr Jameson’s yard and Folly and Frankie go around the long way up the walkway because it looks more professional Good morning Mr Camazzola That’s one good-looking hairdo Mr Jameson calls from his shady front porch where he’s parked his wheelchair Yes it is one good-looking hairdo I cut it myself last week back when I was being an orphan Sometimes I keep doing Ruben’s exercises even after we leave the theater because I need to know my stuff if I’m going to direct one day Mom offered to cut my hair for me but I told her orphans don’t let their moms do things for them That’s what it means to be an orphan Makes him look like a quail Folly says in a way that only Folly could say it without making me want to trip him Mr Jameson wipes at the back of his neck Even this early in the day it’s hot and the air feels like a dog lick Mr King How’s business He tips up his old-guy hat the one Gram calls a fisherman’s cap Folly gives Mr Jameson a slick grin I can see how he might look a lot like Mr Jameson when he’s grown up Not just because they have the same dark brown skin or
