Presenting the story of how we saved the Juicebox Theater It’s not cheating to tell you that I don’t want you to worry is all Ready Okay curtain up
PART 1
Act I SCENE ONE In a play every scene is supposed to have some kind of point to it Like a major thing happens or some really important secret is revealed In this scene I’m trying to figure out how to earn enough money to buy a karaoke machine Also every scene has a setting Right now it’s my kitchen but we’ll change the set later so you can see other stuff like all the brown and tan houses on Hatahatchee Street which is where I live now It used to be part of an Air Force base but when they shut down the base they sold the houses and left a hundred and twenty-two gallons of brown and tan paint in the garage of the house that we bought Now when someone needs a touch-up on their paint job they call my dad Everyone’s got a brown or tan house around here Only Mr Jameson’s house next door is yellow but that believe it or not is a sad story Picture an empty stage Now that stage can’t stay empty because no one’s going to sit around and watch that forever So you see a kid that’s me coming on from stage right That’s your left if you’re in the audience This kid me is in his kitchen on a Saturday morning in June I’m not really an actor though Think of me as the director here so when the doorbell rings in a second and my best friend Folly shows up with his dog Francolina it’s because I told him to That’s what it means to be the director You get to figure out all the blocking which means you tell everyone where to go onstage That’s why one day I’m going to do like Ruben does at the Juicebox and direct real plays He says maybe after seventh grade I can be his assistant director Right now I just handle all the props Picture a freestanding door off to stage left that’s right to you and there’s another kid and a scruffy-looking orange dog sorry Frankie standing there The kid’s looking all businesslike which is represented by the bow tie clipped to his shirt and by the briefcase He’s also looking kind of sick with love which is represented by the heavy
sighs and this dreamy fluttery thing he’s doing with his eyelashes The flutters are for my sister May I open the door and Folly practically falls into me He recovers himself like a pro You ready to go to Mr J s We have some business next door in Mr Jameson’s chicken coop Folly collects the eggs every day and on Saturdays he sells them around the neighborhood while I clean out the coop In a second I say Come and have an old donut Folly straightens his bow tie Not if you paid me to A man’s body is like a bank vault Whatever he puts in there is being saved up for later Zap Zapter I guess Zap Zapter writes these books Folly loves about business and selling stuff and How to Live Right They’re full of strategies and acronyms and all kinds of motivational sayings Folly’s read dozens of them even the ones from twenty years ago that he’s picked up at yard sales He’s probably memorized every word in them which means he’s got something to say for every situation That can come in handy TZK says Folly The Zap Knows That’s one of his favorite acronyms And you can’t ever doubt the wisdom of Zap Zapter if Folly’s less than nine miles away I pick up a pink-sprinkle donut from the box that Gram brought home from karaoke night at the Pick n Play I guess Dad got hold of the box because he’ll eat any donut besides the ones with sprinkles I’m about to take a bite when wouldn’t you know it here comes May Everyone says May is beautiful and she might be I don’t pay attention to that kind of thing I was supposed to write a poem about her for Family Week in fifth grade but all I could write was She’s got eyes like a hundred dewdrops and long long fingers for getting into other people’s business Sidney May says and she drifts over to me on a little cloud of fluffy slippers I don’t know what you and Orpheus are doing in this kitchen with that ratty orange dog and donut sprinkles in your teeth but you’d better not be cooking up any dumb schemes You have real work to do Folly’s real name is Orpheus but after reading the one hundred and twenty-seven
