RULE 2 Never Know Exactly How Many School Rules There Are CLICK-CLICK-CLICK-CLICK BANG The door slammed behind Mrs Blunt so hard that several books leapt off the shelf in fright Jake and Mr Hyde jumped too Mr Hyde caught Jake’s eye and winked First things first he said Jake you need somewhere to sit He looked around Park yourself next to the young spider scientist in the front row Nora isn’t it Yes sir She looked pleased Jake sat down next to Nora She squinted at him through her glasses Do you want to see my slug collection she asked I’ve got about two hundred Um Jake began but he was saved from answering as Mr Hyde went on Next this poem I’m sure you’re great I’ll even eat my hat if you’re not amazing he said I wouldn’t sir said a boy with droopy bangs that covered half his face We are pretty bad And the poem is s-o-o-ooo boring
Mr Hyde clearly wasn’t prepared to believe bad of anyone or anything He bounded around moving desks OK everyone on the floor said Mr Hyde Is he crazy Jake looked around Get ready 5B Lying down breathe deeply Slowly the class obeyed There wasn’t much deep breathing but Jake could hear a lot of high pitched giggling After a minute of this Mr Hyde jumped up and stood wobbling on one leg arms in the air The class stood up and did the same Mr Hyde wobbled and then fell over Sir do you want us to do that asked Nora He got up straightening his glasses Um no that’s enough yoga for today he said Let’s hear this poem Jake come and be an extra pair of ears Jake and Mr Hyde perched on a desk while everyone else lined up at the front Mr Hyde did a drum roll with his hands Class 5B presents THE JOY OF SCHOOL RULES he announced There was nervous shuffling Then Karl stepped forward and began The School Rules make us happy Every girl and every boy We’re grateful to our principal For bringing us such joy Karl stepped back into line Jake squirmed Karl did not look in the least bit joyful Nor did anyone else Mr
Hyde’s smile faded slightly but he nodded encouragingly After some confused whispering a girl wearing a soccer uniform was shoved forward She looked at Karl How does my verse start she asked The School Rules are incredible Oh yeah She took a deep breath The School Rules are incredible All one hundred and forty-two Nora broke in One hundred and forty-one Alexis Look at the poster Jake looked at the School Rules poster properly for the first time A hundred and forty-one school rules He gulped His old school had only ten Mrs Blunt’s photo was glaring at him as if he’d broken at least half of them already OK OK one hundred and forty-one Hang on the poem says a hundred and forty-two said Karl Nora glared at him What’s Rule 142 then Maybe it’s new suggested Alexis OK what is this new rule then Nora crossed her arms defiantly Karl laughed Rule 142 is Slugs are not permitted in the classroom Nora frowned Leave my slugs out of this They don’t do any harm One of them slimed me yesterday said someone One ate my salad called someone else The class laughed uncontrollably Calm down everyone called Mr Hyde No one calmed down Stop hassling Nora guys said the boy with the bangs Woodstock you’re only saying that because she helps you with your science homework someone called The whole class was bickering Jake glanced around to see if Mr Hyde was going to
do something but he had disappeared Then A-WOP-BOP-A-LOO-BOP-A-LOP-BAM-BOOM The class froze Loud music was belting out from speakers at the front of the classroom Mr Hyde popped up from behind a computer Zumba time he bellowed above the music Exercise will get the creative juices flowing He started lurching around violently Everyone stared open-mouthed What’s he doing Jake heard a voice whisper nearby Nora had slid back into her seat and was gaping at Mr Hyde Dancing I think he whispered back 5B GET READY TO BOOGIE shouted Mr Hyde Whatever I do you follow I’m warning you though it’s not easy to dance like me A few students laughed nervously Jake suddenly realized Mr Hyde was distracting the class from the argument Clever Mr Hyde started to clap to the music Join in everyone Jake nudged Nora Come on
