Phone Home, Persephone!

Phone Home, Persephone! book cover

Phone Home, Persephone! — page 1 — Total poppycock Persephone wasn’t out picking any flowers She was running away from her overprotective mother And I never grabbed her She hitched a ride to the Underworld I couldn’t stand it that everyone who read the myths would think of me as some sort of kidnapper That’s why I wrote my own book to tell the world the truth So here’s the real deal on how I met Persephone and how she became my part-time Queen of the Underworld

Phone Home, Persephone! — page 2 — A few millennia ago we gods defeated our big bad dad Cronus and his Titan brothers in a colossal battle for control of the cosmos After we won the war we had to decide who would be the new Ruler of the Universe I was all set to take over I was the oldest god for one thing Plus I knew I was strong enough brave enough and smart enough to be top god But my sneaky little brother Zeus had other ideas He convinced us my sisters Hestia Demeter and Hera and my brother Poseidon and me to settle the question by playing a game of poker Who won Zeus of course with a little help from some extra aces up his sleeve He took over Dad’s old job as Ruler of the Universe After a lot of quarreling Hestia became goddess of the hearth Demeter became goddess of agriculture Hera became goddess of marriage and Poseidon became god of the seas Even before things got sorted out I’d had it with my squabbling siblings I was so sick of them all that I volunteered to move down to the Underworld and become its king

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