the bones inside their skins gently tap my hammer over their hides and boom They're back alive and ready to roll It's the ultimate in travel and takeout Anyway What were we talking about Oh yeah My awesomeness In my day everybody loved me farmers herders partiers pirates and warriors which is why I was the most popular of all the Norse gods And no I'm not bragging I was everyone’s good buddy god Most folks wore tiny hammer charms in my honor for good luck and carved my symbol into all kinds of stones decorations and weapons They buried Thor hammers in graves to protect the dead They even held up hammers over the heads of newly married couples as a blessing Or as a threat to keep one or both of them from running Whatever I don't judge Everybody called on me for protection After all if I could protect the gods in Asgard from the terrible giants that wanted to take us down I could certainly protect you tiny little mortals Which reminds me before we go any further I must warn you if you don't like blood you might want to close this book and read stories about pixies and fairies instead I am not kidding around My people were famous for their brutality Vikings attacked killed and pillaged their way around most of the medieval world Nordic myths and legends are pretty brutal too filled with evil frost giants monster wolves ravenous dragons and epic battles of
If you think you can handle our tales of murder and mayhem then come along Step up onto my goat chariot and let's get going Don't be shy Velkomin to my
Deane app THE WILD NORTHMEN SEEP IT S NOT SO BAD riding behind goats Well except for the bumpy ride Sorry about the smell Riding behind them after they've gorged on fermented shark a delicacy in my neck of the woods was maybe not the best idea They give the concept of gas powered ride a whole new meaning Anyway as we journey g to the mythic realms of my
