Such as Such as Aren’t you afraid to walk too close to the edge of a roof I can see Drew nodding Of course he is You’re afraid because you could fall off I tell him And I bet you’re afraid to climb into the lions cage at the zoo because you know they can eat you These are good fears to have because they stop you from doing something that could hurt you or even kill you Having fears saves lives I’ve never thought of it that way before Drew Listerman says But it’s certainly an important message you’re spreading In fact it’s practically a birthday present to us all When really we should be showering you with presents especially on a birthday this significant Tell me how does it feel to hit double digits It’s a funny thing I say When I woke up this morning something felt different I peer a bit closer into the mirror closer into the camera You ever get the feeling that something is 4
changing in your life that you’re in for something particularly extraordinary As I say it I feel a tingle run down my spine like it’s true Like I’m onto something Like there actually are people out there right now watching me and something big is going to happen right before their eyes And then BOO Quinn yells Ahh I stumble backward You almost gave me a heart attack I shout at my sister What are you doing in here anyway The bathroom door had been closed I’m sure of it I hadn’t locked it but that’s because I broke all the locks in our house a couple of months ago Do you know how many people die each year because they lock themselves into their bedrooms or bathrooms and a fire starts up and no one can get to them in time to save them Okay I don’t know either But I bet a lot of people do 5
Mom was pretty mad about all the broken locks But it was for her own good Quinn’s too Dad once told me that the three of us Mom Quinn and I were the most important people in his life and he’d do anything to protect us After what happened to him it’s up to me to make sure no one in my family ever gets hurt again That’s what Dad would want me to do But never mind that because right now there’s no fire not even the thinnest curlicue of smoke And in the absence of a fire we all know that a closed door means don’t come in Not that Quinn cares She’s bent in half laughing She laughs in a really squeaky finger nails-on-the-chalkboard little-hairs-on-your-arms standing-up kind of way Hee-eee-eee-EEEEEE Hee-eee-eee-EEEEEE Her just as embarrassing as my little interview Even worse actually because my interview was supposed to be private But Quinn laughs that way all the time in public She can’t help herself laugh is 6
Quinn stands straight and makes a big production out of trying to catch her breath like it was just sooooo funny she might not ever be able to breathe again You should’ve pant eeeeee pant seen yourself Pant pant Only a Grade A official nut job would talk to himself in the mirror She pauses to take one long deep gulp of a breath I’ve seen you talk to yourself in the mirror I tell her And then I mimic her in a high-pitched voice Quinn your hair looks so good Quinn I love your nail polish At least I’m not pretending to be brave to my imaginary friends when the truth is you’re scared of everything Are you sure you’re turning ten today Because you’re acting like a baby Babies aren’t scared because they don’t know any better I say It’s actually a sign of maturity to be scared Whatever It’s no wonder you don’t have any friends 7
