For Madelaine and for R and E Cook who will eat almost anything M A For my curious granddaughter Lara D
O Rude Ramsay resided in a ramshackle rectangular residence with a roof garden a root cellar and a revolving door A rampart ranged down the right hand side of the run down real estate Residing with Rude Ramsay who was red haired were his revolting relatives Ron Rollo and Ruby They were rotund but robust and when not regaling themselves with rum they relaxed in their recliners replaying reams of retro rock n roll records relentlessly This could be rigorous While Ron read the racing results Ruby and Rollo regularly rustled up the repasts They roasted rice raisins rutabagas and rhinoceros They rolled out reptiles with a rolling pin They refrigerated rhubarb and broiled ribs raviolis and reindeer rinds on the rotisserie The rice was rock hard the ribs rubbery the raviolis wrinkled the rhinoceros
raw The reptiles were still writhing the rhubarb was runny and the reindeer rinds were rotten Every Friday Rude Ramsay rebelled This repast is repulsive he'd report The rice is riddled with roaches the raisins are rancid and the reindeer rinds reek I feel like regurgitating Ramsay you rash repulsive red headed runt How rude Rinse your mouth out with rope raged Ramsay's revolting relatives Ron Rollo and Ruby Repent Repent I refuse retorted Ramsay Thoroughly riled the three revolting relatives rose from the rejected repast and rushed after Ramsay hurling ratchets wrenches wristwatches rubber boots and radios which rebounded off Ramsay's rear But Ramsay was a rapid runner and he raced up to the roof garden and down to the root cellar and round and round the revolving door until his robust but rotund relatives could no longer respire and required
