This is it This moment My favorite moment of the entire year I'm sitting in one of the movie theater like seats on the ferry On the top level of course I watch the mainland disappear behind me and then all I see is ocean Ocean and ocean and Ocean And it feels like forever until I ll get there Hurry up I think But then I change my mind Don't hurry up Let me enjoy this Enjoy the almost there But then little by little I start to see it bits and pieces of Seagate Island I see the lighthouse and then the bright orange cottage that sits right on the shoreline And I get closer Closer and closer And I see more things take shape My heart is flopping with excitement like a caught fish that's about to get back into the water My mom is on one side of me my dad on the other Marilyn Monroe is on my lap The whole summer is spread out in front
of me like a big picnic blanket on the sand And this summer isn't like any other summer This is Seagate's centennial summer One hundred years since the first person came to Seagate One hundred years of pink sunsets and Sundae Best’s overflowing ice cream cups One hundred years of flip flops click clacking on the boardwalk One hundred years of Ping Pong tournaments and summertime friends SOme of the best friends in the world There's going to be a huge party Seagate Island's birthday party for everyone to celebrate together Carnival rides A photo booth A talent show Mrs Pursuit volunteered to be in charge of the celebration committee They've been planning it since last summer I just got a text from Vivian My mom taps my knee They took the earlier ferry I nod Oh Okay Vivian Newhouse is Bennett’s mom and one of my mom s best friends They've known each other since Bennett and I were newborn babies That's when Bennett and I met too although obviously I can't remember that meeting He's one of those people who's always been there There's never been a time when I didn't know Bennett Newhouse Bennett had texted me that they were taking the noon ferry just like us I looked for him everywhere but couldn't find him Now I know why I wonder if Bennett will be waiting when we get there standing at the ferry terminal looking for us as we come off the boat I haven't seen him in a whole year and when I think about
him all I can picture is what he looked like at the end of last summer shaggy hair cargo shorts with holes in them pizza stained T shirts I'm sure he's gotten taller Maybe he'll even be wearing new summer clothes They won't be torn or stained They'll look crisp the tags just cut off Everything fresh for a new Summer I thought about Bennett this whole year We e mailed a lot and talked on the phone But none of that's the same as being with him in person I flip flopped back and forth all year long Did I like him as more than a friend Sometimes I thought I did And sometimes I thought I didn't I kept telling myself that I'd figure it out on Seagate Things always seem clearer there Everything makes more sense when you're near the ocean But there's one conversation we had that lingers in the back of my mind We were on the phone one Saturday night It was February the month when the past summer feels like a million years ago and the next summer feels like a million years away It was after ten at night and I'm never supposed to be on the phone that late But my parents were out and'd told the babysitter I was going to bed Which I was But then Bennett called And we were talking Mostly about stupid stuff like this crazy new burrito he’d tried and the fact that people camp outside certain stores so they can be the first ones to get the new sneakers But then he brought t up first kisses Something about this girl Mara who keeps a list of who in the grade has kissed Someone and who hasn't You haven't kissed anyone yet right he asked
I stayed quiet but then I said that no I hadn’t And he said he hadn't either Oh I said We could be each other's first kiss he said as if it were no big deal As if he were saying we could play Ping Pong or We could share a chocolate croissant or we could sit on his dock and throw pebbles into the ocean My heart thumped in my chest And I said Sure But even as I was saying it I was thinking that I wasn't sure I wanted that to happen I told myself that even if it did happen summer was so far away that I didn't need to worry about it or even think about it It was something I could deal with later I pushed the thought away As far away as possible But that later is now quickly approaching That far away is getting so much closer We'll be together for a whole summer And I know I said sure but now I don't know if I want to Ilook out the ferry window We're almost there I keep thinking the same thing Will I see him as Bennett the same old Bennett I've always known Or will I see him as something more The way I saw him at the end of last summer A whole year has passed Are we different now As much as I don't want to be different I think I am As much as I want everything to always stay the same I know that things change And I know that change can be okay that I can handle it Sometimes anyway But the one thing I can't handle is the not knowing I always want to know how things are going to work
