He couldn’t be sure when his change in attitude had occurred but it all seemed to begin with the flu It hit him all at once dizziness sore throat and a fever so hot he felt like a marshmallow roasting over a campfire He tossed and turned in bed too sick to even call a doctor and then suddenly the fever nausea and aches were gone replaced by a newfound clarity about the world and his place in it His job guarding an evil gigantic RV-size head was not a matter of national security but a task for a monkey and his employers knew it They were jealous and fearful of his brilliance They wanted to squash his potential and steal the glory that was rightfully his so they stuck him with a thankless chore Well he wouldn’t stand for it Sherman Stoop was destined for greatness and it was about time the whole world knew it Sherman you don’t look well Andrea said She was a coworker on the security staff and lately the two of them had been eating lunch together They had a lot of interests in common kung fu movies Hungarian goulash festivals and kitten calendars Sherman had been building up the courage to ask her out on a date for months and finally he had the perfect romantic evening the annual goulash cook-off was a week away What could be more romantic than taste-testing a hundred different goulashes He was sure to sweep her off her feet But now well what had happened to all those good feelings Instead of being smitten by a beautiful woman who shared his love of heavy Eastern European cuisine he saw a manipulative cruel jerk who laughed at him behind his back I’m fine he seethed Not that you care Sherman what does that mean Be gone woman Can’t you see I’m thinking he replied
enraged Andrea’s face fell As if he had hurt her feelings What an actress She should have been in Hollywood making movies She probably didn’t even like goulash He turned and walked toward the door Sherman You can’t leave your station Watch me Sherman took off his helmet and tossed it to the floor It bounced around CLANG CLANG CLANG The noise caused everyone in the lab to gasp and all eyes turned to the slumbering head Its horrible stretched face grimaced and it snorted Was it waking up What were they supposed to do if it woke up But then it licked its lips and went back to its incessant snoring and the staff breathed again Sherman wasn’t going to wait around for the scientists to scold him like a child He stormed through the exit doors and nearly ran straight into his boss Dave Hobin Dave was a short dumpy man with a full mustache Several nights a month he and Sherman got together to play a card game called euchre Sherman why are you leaving the holding cell Are you not feeling well Sherman’s answer came in the form of a punch to Dave’s nose You wouldn’t listen to my ideas and you laughed at me All of you laughed at me What ideas Dave cried as he held his sore snout Is this about wanting Cheese Curls in the employee snack machine I told you I’d look into it For a moment the anger faded and Sherman realized what he
had done to his friend He was horrified and wanted to apologize But before he could Andrea rushed into the hall and helped Dave to his feet Sherman could see the hurt and confusion in their eyes Sherman explain yourself Andrea cried Sherman’s tongue felt as if it were in the grip of a boa constrictor He couldn’t form an explanation and even if he could his actions were just as baffling to him as they were to Andrea and Dave Why was he so angry at his friends Why was he so angry at his life And then the fever returned and his regret turned to scorn These two simpletons should have been apologizing to him for masquerading as his friends They were no different than the others just trying to keep him down You are all going to pay he shouted as he stomped away I’ve already begun work on a plan that will show the world my brilliance and everyone will beg for mercy when I take my rightful place as their ruler Did you eat at the Goulash Hut again Dave shouted after him I told you that place has about a thousand health code violations You probably have food poisoning Come on I’ll take you to the infirmary Sherman turned one last time My name is not Sherman From this day forth those who are lucky enough to live will call me Captain Kapow Captain who Andrea asked But Sherman did not reply He stormed away his brain hard at work on complex math equations and chemical formulas His ideas had never been so clear so crisp so brilliantly
dangerous All he needed were the materials to construct his inventions and the money to buy the parts But that wouldn’t be a problem He knew exactly where to turn for the cash All he had to do was find the man in the skull mask Sherman’s dreams the night before had been filled with the mysterious stranger Whoever he was Sherman was certain the masked man would help him take over the world But first he was going to stop by the Goulash Hut He was starving
