In response the goon tossed his pillow into the air then used his hook to slash it in two Feathers flew around the room Actually I think this will be just fine Simon’s plan was not going exactly the way he wanted He was trapped on a tiny ledge on the side of an enormous ice mountain at the top of the world the North Pole to be exact The temperature was just above negative 35 degrees Fahrenheit and in all directions there was little more than drifting ice sheets and glaciers Firm ground was nearly a mile above and the deadly cold waters of the Arctic Ocean were far below He had been stranded on the ledge for two days freezing starving and desperate for water No things were not going as planned at all Still Simon formerly known as Choppers formerly known as Heathcliff Hodges refused to ask his goon for a rescue In his effort to become an evil mastermind Simon had read many books including one by business tycoon Donald Trump It had argued that you should never let your underlings know that you need help It undermined their respect for you He would save himself He pulled himself to his feet and balanced precariously on the tiny ledge He searched the surface of the mountain for a handhold as he had done so many times before and once again found nothing Was he doomed to die He went over everything he had ever been taught during his time as a secret agent His former headquarters was filled to the brim with gadgets that would save his life grappling guns antigravity sneakers and much more But he’d have settled for a rope right then He thought of his former teammates especially Duncan Dewey
code name Gluestick Duncan would have had no problem with the icy cliffside His skin produced a powerful adhesive that allowed him to stick to nearly any surface hence his code name He could walk along the ceiling like a fly or run up the side of a skyscraper It was all part of the upgrades the team members had received when they first became spies and members of an elite organization the National Espionage Rescue and Defense Society or NERDS set with the task of saving the world from evil Their fifth-grade weaknesses had been turned into superstrengths with the help of top-secret computer technology Simon had huge front teeth nearly as big as a horse’s It was how he had gotten his spy code name Choppers After his upgrades he could use his buckteeth to hypnotize and control others A lot of good that did now when he was alone and slowly turning into a snow cone What had their hopelessly incompetent director Agent Brand said to the team You don’t need gadgets You are the gadgets That was it Simon was the gadget He slammed his face into the ice driving his enormous front teeth deep into the mountain Alternately using his teeth and the heavy cleated boots he wore he began to climb slowly Perhaps Simon should have been grateful for his amazing upgrades and his many hours of training but that wasn’t how he felt He was boiling mad Sure being a member of NERDS had been exciting but because the work was secret when the young spies weren’t out on a mission they went right back to being picked on by their classmates He and the others had suffered hundreds of wet willies power wedgies and flicked ears but
had they ever fought back NO They had to protect their secret identities and the work they did around the world Well it was all bunk What was the point of having superpowers if you couldn’t fight the bullies who tormented you One day while the school’s resident meanie was dunking Simon’s head into a toilet the boy had realized that knuckleheads like this one would always torment people like him The only way to change it would be to change everything He decided to destroy the world With society in shambles people would be forced to rely on those with great intelligence namely himself Once again reading and learning would be held in high regard and people like Simon would be admired rather than abused and humiliated But his brilliant plan had been foiled by his own teammates Of all people in the world he had been sure his former friends would join him They too were misfits outcasts spazzes they’d been bullied stuffed in lockers and forced to hand over their milk money on a daily basis But Simon had failed to see the effect Duncan Dewey had on the others The chubby kid had always been a walking ball of positive energy The abuse he suffered time and time again seemed to roll right off his back And his grating optimism had infected the team He’d even managed to convince the others to accept Jackson Jones one of their cruelest tormentors as a new member When Simon finally revealed his brilliant plan to the NERDS Duncan turned against him and the others followed They acted as if he had betrayed them Simon’s thirst for revenge kept him going now through the painful climb He was close to the summit At the top he hoped
to find the remains of Dr Jigsaw’s secret fortress or at least some clothing and food But when he was only a few inches away the mountain shook violently He bit hard into the ice with what was left of his strength He knew well the source of the tremors Jigsaw’s continental-shift machine was still active and was forcing the mountain farther into the sky There was another quake and this time Simon’s teeth could not hold on The next thing he knew he was falling down down down into the sea He hit the waves with a painful splash and exhausted sank into the icy black abyss For Simon death seemed inevitable But fate had another plan It flash froze him like a fish stick His heartbeat slowed to an almost undetectable rhythm as did all his brain function Every molecule in his body crystallized and a block of ice quickly formed around him turning the boy into an ice cube of evil For weeks he floated south with the currents bumping into ice floes around Iceland and Greenland drifting past Canada and right down the eastern seaboard of the United States Several lobster boats tried to reel him in but the block was simply too heavy and by the time Coast Guard officials got there to investigate Simon had drifted away The cube shrank a bit as it bobbed along in the warm waters of the Florida Keys and on down past Cuba Eventually what was left of the chunk of ice washed ashore on a tiny uninhabited island in the Caribbean Sea The waves hurled it onto a pebbly beach where it was met by a squirrel with huge front teeth Shocked by the cube’s sudden appearance the squirrel fled into the jungle and didn’t
