Poop Fountain!

Poop Fountain! — page 7 — It's true that Tve been saying that Id like to be a newspaper reporter someday but I always figured td be writing stories on a computer not a typewriter My class took a field trip to a newspaper office one time and I didn t see any typewriters The typewriter is heavier than you would believe and it makes a loud buzzine noise when its plugged in But I do like the whack whack whack when you type and it has this white ribbon that lets you erase mistakes That's how come it looks like I'm typing perfectly when I m not at all Really it took me forever just to type that first

Poop Fountain! — page 8 — SECTION II Founding Members Marilla Anderson Dave H Raskin Lyle Hertzog me Marilla has asked me to say right away that she isn't the girlfriend of either one of us Nor will she fall in love withеither one of us during the course of the events that are typed up in this document The three of us have been friends for a little over a year but we didn't create The Qwikpick Adventure Society until just a few weeks before Christmas One day at school when kids were talking about Christmas stuff the three of us realized that none of us had anything much to do on Christmas Day Another personal note I have liked Marilla for J a long time now and so just because she says she doesn't fall in love with either one of us do not give up hope Wheels will be set in

Poop Fountain! — page 9 — Marilla's family is Jehovah's Witnesses This is a religion that believes in Christ but does not celebrate Christmas A lot of people complain about them because on some weekends they knock on people's doors and talk about religion However Marilla is perfectly nice She lives in the same trailer park as I do Crab Creek Estates she used to live in a town house before her father got a kidney condition and had to quit his job So any way she wasn't going to do anything for Christmas except hang around the house watching videos and she's not allowed to watch anything that's PG 13 or R and she says that if she has to watch The Lion King with her little sister one more time she'll barf Dave's family is Jewish and by the time school lets out for Christmas break he's usually already had Hanukkah and visited his grandparents and

Poop Fountain! — page 10 — Dave s twin brothers are only one year older than him but they are twice as big as he is and are always eating him up and bossing him around On Christmas Day he and his stepfather and his twin brothers were probably going to sit around and watch a football bowl game on TV But Dave doesn't really like football or his two brothers so he wanted to get out of his house too And as for me my parents both have to work at the Qwikpick on Christmas Day The Qwikpick closes early on Christmas Eve but then opens up at five in the morning on Christmas Day And they have a policy that all employees except the manager have to work because Christmas Day is a day when lots of people travel and that means that they buy gas and biscuits and that means my parents can never take that day

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