The principal of Thomas Knowlton Middle School was working at his desk when the ninjas attacked They wore black masks and held sharp swords over their heads One crashed through the door with a high-pitched wail his deadly weapon slicing the air but he was stopped in his tracks when the principal karate-chopped him in the Adam’s apple Ouch Another ninja climbed through the window but his head was crushed when the principal slammed it shut Oof A third ninja dropped from an air duct in the ceiling His nunchucks swirled in deadly arcs wrapping around the principal’s beefy forearm But that was a mistake the ninja would forever regret because the principal used the nunchucks to yank the ninja forward for a skull-splitting head butt Lights out
When it looked like the attack was over two more ninjas popped out of the drawers of a steel file cabinet and attacked using their fists and feet knocking the principal backward onto his desk They held him down and chuckling arrogantly removed gleaming daggers from the folds of their clothes But
the principal was trained in several martial arts and highly proficient in the monkey snake and crane fighting styles Plus he was Irish so he knew his way around a street fight He snatched a stapler off his desk and slammed it into one ninja’s forehead and then the other’s Both men cried out in agony and stumbled backward onto the bodies of their fallen brothers The principal stood over the pile of broken villains Then he started to applaud Thanks guys he said Yeah yeah the men groaned as they staggered to their feet One of the ninjas took off his mask revealing a chubby face and a large bald spot in the center of his curly brown hair He didn’t look like a ninja He looked like an accountant Did we at least surprise you this time he groused The principal nodded Absolutely Randy I was completely taken off guard I didn’t see the file cabinet thing coming at all That was a nice touch He’s just saying that because he doesn’t want to hurt our feelings another ninja groaned Underneath his mask he had bright red hair and a face full of freckles No Barry I really was intimidated Randy shook his head I don’t know why you want us to do this anyway You’re the boss now Your biggest fear should be getting a paper cut or someone parking in your designated space Why keep training You don’t actually miss your old job do you Barry Miss my old job No That’s ridiculous Why would I miss asked it
