Dorko the Magnificent

Dorko the Magnificent — page 1
my magic trick and just before I say Ta-daaaa When there’s still the chance that everyone will be amazed and yell Bravo and clap or at least not laugh or scream or call the fire department Again You’ve probably felt that moment too Like right after you open a book and just before you read the first line Before you know if a book stinks and you have to change the characters names to Lipzilla and Sir Tidy Diaper so you don’t die of boredom And by the way if you feel the need to change my name which is Robbie Darko to get through this book knock your socks off I’d change it myself if I could And someday I just might Though I would not pick Sir Tidy Diaper for your information I’d pick a mysterious-sounding Russian name like Vladislov Kanzinzki It sounds better than Dorko which is what everyone calls me now thanks to Mr Nate Watkins fifth-grade loser So if you know what they call that moment I’m talking about I hope you’ll tell me I’ve been wondering about it since last year’s talent show which stunk And no I will not go into details I will tell you that my act involved a salamander named Sir Isaac Newt a baseball cap and Principal David Adolphus I performed my trick perfectly and then that moment with no name arrived and I held my breath for a single heartbeat and just before I said Ta-daaaa Principal Adolphus revealed his phobia of salamanders and his ability to scream like a first grade girl I didn’t know that Principal Adolphus had amphibia phobia Did you So last year’s talent show stunk but that’s old news Stale cheese I’m in fifth grade now and I’m going to come up with a great new act for this year’s show One that will leave Hobson