had a premonition he was about to go fie said at the end of his story To liveto ninety that's an achievement Now my life is nearlyover I'm lookin forward to heaven I lookback on my life and think how lucky I am J got Daisy's grand daughter Daisy was my grandmother's name writing my story It should be someone in the family It's fittin I want everyone to read it Arthur Corunna's story You see it's important because then maybe they'll understand howhard it's been for the blackfella to live the way he wants I'm part of history that's how I look on it It was a wonderful story and it made Mum and me determined to continue to find out as much as we could about the family In 1982 when Zeke was only six weeks old Mum Paul and I and our children set off to visit Corunna Downs Nan and Arthur's birthplace They had both been taken away from their people when they were children and placed in a mission Back in the early years of this century that was what happened to hundreds of half-caste children Neither Arthurnor itseems Daisyever sawtheirAboriginalmother Annie Padewani again Nan was not really sure who her white fatherwas though Arthur was positive shewas his full sister and that they both had the same father Howden Drake-Brockman the owner of Corunna Downs Station at that time Later Howden had married a white woman and Nan became nursemaid to his daughter Judy There were stillquite close links between the Drake-Brockmansandour family Nan and Judy were always friends and I had asked Aunty Judy what she could tell me about the old days But Howden had sold Corunna Downs when she was still quite small and the family together with Nan had moved toa big house called Ivanhoe at Claremont on the banks of the Swan River So Judy Drake-Brockman was not able to tell me very much My mother did not really know who her father was either Nan had always refused to discuss the matter with her Mum believed he may have been an Englishman Jack Grime who wasa close friend ofHowden Drake-Brockman 13
and lived at Ivanhoe During our visit to Corunna we had discovered which tribal groups we belonged to My mother Gladys was Panaka I was Burungu and Paul was Malinga What had begun as a tentative search for knowledge grew into a spiritualand emotionalpilgrimage We nowhadan Aborigi nal consciousness and were proud of it By the time we left we had so much to think about and much tocome to terms with And as a result of what we had learned we had more insight into Nan's bitterness her refusal to talk about the past More than anything we wanted her to change to be proud of what she was We had seen so much of her and ourselvesin the wonderful peoplewe'd met We belonged to our Aboriginal heritage now We had found our place Whenwearrived backin Perth Nan was reallypleased tosee us andsowas Beryl a friendofMum'swho had been looking after her Nan hadgone through allthe moneyMum hadleft her and had had Berylon the go non-stop running up to the shop for chocolate biscuits and putting bets on the TAB We rounded up the rest of the family the following day and insisted on showing the video we had made of our trip To our dismay the film turned out to be prettymediocre It sufferedfrom thefaults common to most home movies lack of focus zooming too quickly and panning too slowly Throughout the filming ofCorunna Iwatched Nan She was taking a keen interest in the old buildings There's the old date palm she said That used to be the garden down there That's the old homestead that part over there that's where they had the kitchen When it was all over she said Fancy all those old buildings still being there I didn't think there'd be anything left Mum told Nan what all the old boys had said about Lily her and Arthur's full-blood half-sister We had learned what a wonderful woman she had been how caring towards the old people Nan smiled Ooh yes she chuckled that was Lily all right She was the sort of person you couldn't help liking she hada good heart did Lily Iwas amazed Nan had 14
never talked like that before Over the next few days Mum talked at length with Nan about the different peoplewe had met Nan feigned disinter est but we knew it was just a bluff She was desperately interested in everything we had to say but she didn't want to let her feelings show In manyways she wasa veryprivate person One night when they were alone Mum told Nan how Annie her mother and a lot of the other older ones from Corunna Downs had died at Shaw River She had Lilywith her Mum said Annie wasn't alone when she died she had some of her people with her Nan nodded There were tears in her eyes Her lips were set Do any of them remember me she asked wistfully They all do Mum said Theyall remember you Do you remember Topsy and another woman called Nancy They said they lived with you and Annie on Corunna They still alive Nan asked in disbelief Yes Nanjustshookher head I'm going to bed she muttered Mum cried herself to sleep that night Afew weeks later I tackled Nan about being able to speak two languages We had discovered that when Nan was at Corunna she must have spoken two similar languages Balgoo and Naml l had once heard my Great-uncle Arthur and Nan speaking together in their own language but Nan had been very annoyed about it She was still unwilling to discuss the subject She wouldn't be drawn further There'd been a slight change a softening but she wasstillunwilling to share the personal details of her life with us Do you reckon Jack Grime really is your father 1asked Mum one daywhen we were alone together Oh I don't know Sally Mum sighed Aunty Judy said you're the image of Jack Grime That'd Oh I don't know people can look like one another but be some sort of proof wouldn't it it doesn't have to mean they're related 15
we look at it see ifyou do look alike the large mirrors in the doors of my wardrobe anything like him There's no resemblance at all Hey I know I'vegot a photo ofJack a big one whydon't I don't want to do that Goon We'llhold it uptothe bigmirror in my room You can putyour headnext toitandwe'llseeifyoulooklikehim Oh all right Mum giggled why not Within minutes Mum and Iand the photowereallfacing Well that was a dead loss I said You don't look He doesn't look like any of you kids either does he Naah Iagreed Hang ona tick I'llget another picture I returned Quickly Okay I said face the mirror Mum frontedup to the mirrorand tried not to laugh She Suddenly I held up a photograph of Howden as a young My God I whispered He's the spitting image ofyou Mum was shocked I can't believe it she said Why haven't I ever noticed this before I've seen that picture hundreds of times felt silly man next to her face We both fell into silence I suppose it never occurred to you He couldn't be your father as well as Nan's You know featurescanskipageneration SayhewasNan'sfather well you could have inherited those looks from that Oh I don't know Sally Mum sighed It's such a puzzle Nearlyall my life I've desperatelywanted to knowwho my fatherwas but now Icouldn'tcare less Whyshould1bother with whoever it was They never bothered with me That's been the recent history of Aboriginal people all along Mum Kidsrunningaround notknowingwhofathered them Those early pioneers they've a lot to answer for Yes Iknow but IthinknowI'mbetteroffwithout allthat business ThosewonderfulpeopleupNorth theyallclaimed me Well that's all I want That's enough you see I don't want to belong to anyone else Me neither We walkedback to the lounge-room Aftera fewseconds 16
