my life I've wanted a family but you won't even tell me about my own grandmother At least Arthur tells me some thing Nan opened her mouth to reply but Arthur cut in If you don't go Daisy I'll tell them your Aboriginal name Nan was furious You wouldn't she fumed Too right I will said Arthur Nan knew when she was beaten and stormed off What is it both Mum and I asked excitedly after she'd gone No I can't tell you he said I'd like to but Daisy should tell you herself There's a lot she could tell you she knows more about some of our people than I do But she won't talk Arthur Mum replied Sometimes I think she imagines she's white She's ashamed of her fam ily Aah she's bin with whitefellas too long They make her feel shamed that's what white people do to you Why should we be shamed we bin here longer than them You don't see the black man diggin up the land scarin it The white man got no sense Arthur had land of his own at Mukinbudin and he kept a part of it uncleared so that the wildlife could prosper in peace I sat and listened to many conversations between Mum and Arthur Whenever he turned up for a visit Mum would ring me at home and say He's here and I would go rushing over One afternoon I wandered out to the backyard to find Nan and Arthur under a gum tree jabbering away in what sounded to me like a foreign language I sat down very quietly on the steps After a few minutes Nan said My eyes aren't that bad Sally I can see you there spyin on us I'm not spying I defended myself Keep talking don't let me stop you We're not talkin no more Nan said I went inside Mum I said excitedly they were talking 15
in their own language What Nanna too Yep She was jabbering away as though she always talked like that I wouldn't have thought she'd remember after all these years It's a ray of hope Mum She could easily have forgotten it a language needs to be used to be remem bered 1t must mean it was important to her She might turn into a proud blackfella yeL Over the following weeks whenever I saw Nan I'd bring up the topic of her language She was very defensive at first but she gradually came round One day she said Hey Sally you know what goombo is I grinned No what Wee wee Nan chuckled and walked off She told me many words after that but I could never get her to say a whole sentence for me She was willing to give only a little I had married Paul Morgan in 1971 while I was still at University Paul spent most of his childhood in the north west of Western Australia his parents were missionaries When he was thirteen they had moved to Perth to start a hostel for mission children who came to the city to attend high school At that time Paul spoke only pidgin English he'd had a hard time adjusting to his new life at first Our daughter Ambelin was born in 1975 and our son Blaze in 1977 In 1975 after completing a post-graduate course in psychology I gave up study for a while to concentrate on being a wife and mother Now four years later I had more time to myself and so I had made the big decision towrite about our family 16
2 AUNT JUDY Mum took my ambition more seriously the following week when I bought a typewriter As she watched my jerky two finger typing effort she said It'll take you a lifetime to do a page at that rate I'll get Quicker It's just practice What are you typing anyway I'm putting down what I know It's not much but it's a start Then I'm going to try to ill in what I don't know and I expect you to help me searched your mind you'd come up with something I can't help you I don't know anything Vou only think you don't know anything I'm sure if you It's no use counting on me Sally You're as bad as Nan sometimes You've got to help me you're my mother it's yOUf duty No need to be so dramatic You know I'd help you if I could But you can help me Mum You ve spent all your life with Nan You must be able to tell me 50methingabout her What seems unimportant to you could be a really good lead for me For example how come Nan and Aunty Judy are 50 close 17
I knew that Nan and Judy Drake-Brockman had been friends all their lives I've told you before Nan was Judy's nursemaid Judy was Quite sick as a child I suppose that drew them closer together How come Nan was their nursemaid Nan came from the station that Judy's father owned Corunna Downs it was called You know I said slowly I think I'll go and talk to Judy I don't know why I didn't think of it before There you see you've given me a lead already Judy won't tell you anything she and Nan both love secrets What are you going to ask her Oh about the station and why they chose Nan to come down to Perth I'll ask her about Ivanhoe too Ivanhoe was the grand old house in Claremont on the banks of the Swan River where Nan had spent much of her working life I went to Battye Library the other day Mum 1 went on It's a history library Western Australian history I wanted to read up about Aborigines Did you find out anything interesting sure did I found out there was a lot to be ashamed of You mean we should feel ashamed No I mean Australia should Mum sat down Tell me Well when Nan was younger Aborigines were consid ered subnormal and not capable of being educated the way whites were You know the pastoral industry was built on the back of slave labour Aboriginal people were forced to work if they didn't the station owners called the police in I always thought Australia was different to America Mum but we had slavery here too The people may not have been sold on the blocks the way the American Negroes were but they were owned just the same I know Mum said There were tears in her eyes They were treated just awful I know Nan She stopped What were you going to say Nothing 18
