CONTENTS 1 DUSTY CURTAINS 2 LYDIA THE WOLF 3 INTO THE LIONS DEN 4 DANGEROUS 5 THE FLAMING HORSE INN 6 BEAR ATTACK 7 BOYCOTT THE CIRCUS 8 THE BEAR CLAW AND THE HORSESHOE 9 STRANGERS AND FRIENDS 10 CHALK 11 FOOLISH ACTIVITIES OF MONKEYS 12 WHEN THE SUN SETS 13 COLD THORNS 14 OUTSIDERS 15 PANIC 16 KEEP HER SAFE 1 9 20 25 32 37 47 52 63 71 75 84 88 92 97 102
CONTENTS 17 WATCHING ME 18 HERE WE GO AGAIN 19 WITH FIRE 20 A STRING OF BAD DECISIONS 21 TAKE SHAPE 22 NO MORE WAITING 23 BLUE EYES BLUE LIPS 24 WITHERED TO DUST 25 BLOOD AND MUD 26 PARANOIA 27 CROOKED LINE 28 UP IN FLAMES 29 PROMISING SCARS 30 STRONGER AS A HORSE 31 VOICES 32 NET OF SILVER 33 RED TEARS 34 TOO DEEP 35 COME HERE 36 REALLY HURT 107 114 119 125 132 147 153 163 172 176 189 193 195 198 200 203 210 218 226 235 iv
CONTENTS 37 BEARS HAVE A TENDENCY TO BE VICIOUS 240 247 38 SO WE RUN 251 39 FOOTSTEPS 40 AN ABANDONED WAREHOUSE 255 262 41 DREAM OF THEM 42 ANYTHING FOR YOU 266 272 43 WHILE WE WAIT 44 BROKEN GLASS 275 45 NO MORE SPARKLY WAISTCOATS AND HATS 46 GIRL TO HORSE 47 COATED RED 48 THE BEAR IN THE WOODS 49 INTO THE DARKNESS 50 STAY CLOSE 51 NEVER HEAL 52 WANDERERS Acknowledgments 279 283 289 293 295 298 304 309 313 v
1 DUSTY CURTAINS Flo you’re up next I start when I hear my name called even though I’ve been expecting it That doesn’t mean I’m ready though Flo the person shouts again I recognize the voice as Ava’s now It’s softer than Nora’s Are you back here I keep quiet and hope she’ll go away and let me think Twenty minutes Ava adds I hear soft footfalls as she walks away She didn’t see me and I didn’t see her but I’m sure she knew I was hiding between the red and green striped cur tains I part them now and watch the lions in the ring beyond Ava better hurry if she’s going to get out there in time A net drops down around the ring for this act Real lions would get through it in a heartbeat if they chose to but the audience is in no danger here not with us The music plays loud and grand the steady beat of drums and the flare of trumpets The sound of the portable stereo crackles a bit if you listen close enough It’s hidden behind the curtains directly across the ring from me The underage circus members take turns controlling the vol ume and stopping and starting the tracks 1
