be so vigilant on the last day of the school year and your final day as a senior monitor I take my job very seriously sir Peck said standing up even straighter Sterling frowned and turned to Bryce I’m surprised to see you here Mr Wagner What do you have to say for yourself I apologize sir but Harker and his friends were being rather rowdy and woke me up I went to his room to ask them to be quiet and that’s when Stanley arrived Wagner’s story wasn’t true it wasn’t even close to true Wagner like everyone else in Weaver Hall except for Peck had been participating in an annual tradition known as the Weaver Hall Olympiad This elite competition takes place on our last night at Choke every year and includes such events as the mattress toss the mud puddle jump and a full-contact 1500-meter tricycle race We had just been finishing off the festivities with a high-stakes game of Operation when Peck burst in I see Sterling said chewing on the end of his pipe What about you Mr Harker What do you have to say for yourself Mr Sterling Bryce Wagner is suffering from a terrible skin disease that doesn’t allow him to sweat I think he
should see the school nurse immediately Do you see Wagner yelled flexing the rather large muscles in his thick neck Do you see the insolence He’s not Choke material sir Sterling closed his eyes and took a deep breath It’s not up to you to decide who’s Choke material Mr Wagner However Mr Harker I must admit I am beginning to wonder he said picking up a folder from his desk and opening it October twelfth you bungee jumped from the roof of your dormitory ripping your pants off in the process The cord didn’t break though I said My pants getting ripped off was unfortunate but nobody was injured not physically anyway November third you were found glued to the ceiling of your room Sir if I may O’Rourke said raising his hand Technically that wasn’t glue it was an experimental foam I’d borrowed from my father Mr Harker was simply my test subject Sterling frowned December tenth you and Mr O’Rourke dressed up as a bull and sold rides for one dollar in the gymnasium All of that money went to charity I said
That’s not the point Sterling yelled You’re not to be dressing up like animals or gluing yourself to ceilings or doing any of the other cockamamie things you’ve done this year Furthermore in addition to these shenanigans you’ve had twenty-seven uniform violations forty-three late arrivals to class and your marks quite frankly are a disaster I’m not sure I’d describe my marks as a disaster I said A calamity maybe but not a disaster They are a disaster Mr Harker In fact unless you did extremely well on your exams I wouldn’t be surprised to find out you have to repeat the tenth grade Out of the corner of my eye I could see that Wagner and Peck were both smiling I turned it around during final exams sir In fact I pretty much cut out sleep altogether for the past week just so I could cram for exams Are you telling me that you haven’t slept for a week Sterling asked I may have squeezed in a few hours here and there You need to start taking things more seriously Mr Harker Far more seriously Yes sir Mr Sterling I said I’ll put it at the top of my to-do list
Life is not a joke Sterling said pointing his pipe at me And may I remind you young man that you must be cleared out of your quarters by ten o’clock this morning Mr Peck will conduct a thorough inspection You are not permitted to leave until he approves the condition of your room I’ll make sure that it’s spotless sir Peck said I’m sure you will Sterling replied As for the she nanigans this morning you’ll all be serving a five-day in school suspension when you return in September You’re not serious Wagner said I was only asking them to be quiet You disturbed the peace of this institution Mr Wagner Consider yourself lucky My father will hear about this Wagner said and stormed out slamming the door behind him Are you sure you don’t want to reconsider Mr Sterling I asked It’s the last day of school after all Get out Sterling said pointing at the door with his pipe Have a wonderful summer sir Peck said and we all headed for the door I don’t suppose I could pay you to forget about this I said before stepping outside OUT Sterling roared
